Saturday, February 1, 2014

What a 48 yo Should Look Like

I met a 31 yo Latino guy last night.  Another online connection.  It didn't work out.  "Rob, I'm sorry, you're just what I'm looking for.  I'm attracted to guys with a more masculine body."  He rubbed my leg and crotch.  "You really seem like a nice guy," he said.  Oh, that makes me feel better.  I retreated home, tail between my legs.

The guy on the left -- this is what a 48 yo guy should look like.....the stereotype.  Hairy, masculine bear.  The guy on the right is me.  Totally smooth is great if you're 22, but not if you are 48.  I just don't fit the stereotype for what a 48 yo guy should look like.  I have people asking me, "Are you Asian? or "Is that really your pic? Because it looks more like a 15 yo than 48."  So what do I do?  Bathe in a vat of Rogaine?

16 comments:

  1. I would not say no to the guy on the right. :-)

    Unfortunately we live in a world where a lot of gay men have been convinced that the only quality men are those that they see in ads and other media.

    Stay strong and keep putting yourself out there. There are good guys out there. :-)

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  2. I'm sure there's several 48 yr old men who kill to have your physique. You look pretty fit to me. Just be patient... he's out there.

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    1. Hot enough for Yummy of the Day? Over 40 category? lol

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  3. I understand how you feel...

    but beating yourself up about something like this doesn't serve a positive purpose.

    You weren't this guy's type...that sucks...but maybe the next one will be even better than Seth.

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    1. I'm not beating myself up. Who cares. It's no big deal, everyone has their preferences. He wasn't so hot anyway.

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  4. I’m fifty six and I have about ten hairs on my chest that I routinely shave. I always wanted to have a hairy chest but the gene pool didn’t cooperate. My ex is a hairy guy who wanted a hairless chest which was part of his attraction to me. You have to work with what you got. There’s a guy out there for you.

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    1. For the record, I prefer smooth guys. Lightly hairy is ok, but I like smooth the best.

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  5. Hi Rob. I'm new to your blog. How are you doing? As for your post, it's just a ugly truth that people judge others based on their own preference and standard set in their mind. You don't have to change just to fit his ideal type of man. Just be who you are and the one who truly loves you will want you for who you are. All the best!

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    1. I'm not sure it's an ugly truth -- it is the truth. The reality is that I do it myself, so I certainly can't criticize someone else for doing it. We all have preferences, and that's the way it is. I'm not going to change who I am -- I'll just look for someone who prefers my look.

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  6. I would not classify the guy on the left as a "bear". He's more of an "otter" or "muscle bear", who is fit, masculine, slightly hairy body, and scruffy, and can pass as straight. But then again, there are so many nuances between bears, otter, cubs, muscle bears, wolves, pups, etc. It's hard to tell who belongs to which clique because they all . I also find that most gay men find a certain amount of body hair and facial hair as attractive because hair implies masculinity. But how many times have we heard hairy gay men lisp when they talk? Too many, so I don't equate masculinity with a hairy body. However, give me a muscular body, smooth or slightly hairy, any day.

    If your profile pic is that of your smooth body, then he knew you were not hairy before agreeing to meet with you. And he grabbed your crotch? Was that a pity grab? What was he expecting?

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    1. You're quite the connoisseur of hairy men. I actually think this guy trims his body hair short. I agree -- guys with some body hair look more masculine. Even guys with a more visible beard look more masculine. I prefer smooth too. Lightly hairy ok. Super hairy I don't like. As long as the guy is in shape.

      Yes -- he saw that profile pic before we met. We did not share face pics though. I guess because we were very close and meeting was easy. He was surprised that I would meet him without sharing face pics.

      He grabbed my crotch in the context of, "You are a really nice guy and I wish I could do something for you." I didn't feel like it was a pity grab (new term to me btw). He was very polite and we talked for about fifteen minutes, so I really don't feel badly about this.

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  7. If it helps, I "really" prefer the one on the right. If that person is you, you look great to me....Adon

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  8. Firstly, you don't look at all bad for a 48 year old. You're still fit and looking good from your pic. Well, everyone do have their own priorities on looks. Just keep strong, there's for sure someone out there who's waiting for you. Cheers!

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    1. Thanks! But have to work hard to keep it this way.

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  9. Somehow gay men always think that they do not look good. You look great! I doubt that I would like to be close to the hairy guy on the left. I have enough body hair and prefer a guy who is smooth. The guys I was partnered with were both smooth. Vive la difference! One guy wasn't into your looks. That's his issue. Move on. There will be another guy who will really like your body.

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    1. Lol, your right. Every gay guy has, what is it? Body dysmorphic disorder? We are always trying to look better and never satisfied with what we have. That's not a good thing. Probably 90% of 48 yo men are fat, so I am very forunate to be in shape.

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