Monday, October 15, 2018

Ex Bf's

Is it ok to stay in touch with your ex bf?

In May my bf moved out west to start a PhD program.  We both agreed we would move on.  He is a lot younger than I am, and I didn't want him to miss this opportunity.  He texts me almost every day.  Just random stuff.  Nothing sexual.  We broke up (don't even want to use that term) on very amicable terms.  He was there for me during a very difficult period in my life.  I consider him one of my closest friends and he will always be special to me.  I know he's met other guys, but nothing has happened.

My new bf is really bothered by this.  He says it's strange to keep in contact with your ex.

I don't agree.....but am looking for other opinions.

My rationale is that close, trustworthy, genuine friends are so hard to find.  I can't bear to lose him.  I want him to be a lifelong friend.  I want the best for him.  If he meets someone really nice in his new city I will be happy for him.  But I want to maintain the connection.  My ex is struggling in the PhD program and kind of depressed.  I cannot abandon him. 

Sunday, October 14, 2018

How do you decide?

How do you decide when to let your boyfriend move in?

It's a big decision.  If the relationship later doesn't work out, then you're in an awkward situation.  Or worst case, a seriously bad situation.  I guess it's best not to think about the negative.  If someone is thinking about letting their bf move in, then things certainly have a positive outlook.

The fact is, that as much as you think you know someone, there is always a possibility you could be wrong.  If you dwell on that negative possibility then you will never develop a serious relationship with anyone.  You'll be overcome with paranoia.  Relationships are built on trust.

Next question:  how do you decide when sex becomes bare?

Monday, October 8, 2018


There is a possibility I might be moving.  That means I will downsize.  I don't want a big house or a lawn to cut.  I'm thinking about 1200 sq ft condos in the city center.  That means I have to think about what to do with all my "stuff".

A few years a go I joked with a friend that I wanted to condense my life down to four boxes.  I'm seriously thinking about that.  As I look around my house, there are many things I would not want to take with me.  Things I either never use, or won't need in a smaller place.  As I think about what size truck I would need, there aren't so many things I would take with me.

Simplification of my life.  From a possessions standpoint anyway.  Once this is done, then what?  I settle into a simpler life, and then what do I want?

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Hairy Legs

Friday night Harry and I were watching a movie.  God's Own Country.  It's a highly rated gay themed film.  I thought it was pretty good....your thoughts?

Anyway, Harry was wearing just shorts and a t-shirt.  I couldn't keep my hands off his hairy legs.  So sexy.  Just rubbing inside his thigh.  These are the legs that wrap around me during sex.....just thinking about it makes me hard.

Friday, October 5, 2018

A Month

Now it's more than  a month.

Andy was upset.  I told him Harry was spending some nights with me.  This week he seems better.  We've talked and he seems to be ok with things now.  Accepting that I met someone.

Harry and I spent last weekend in Toronto.  Went to the gay village and walked all over the downtown.  It was the first "Hottest Ass" contest that Harry had attended.  Anyway, fun, relaxing weekend.

Harry is here and spending the night a lot.  He sometimes take the key to my apartment as I leave much earlier in the morning than he does.  He's holding onto it. 

He said he has trouble sleeping alone now.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Two Guys

I met Harry three weeks ago.  This has become serious.  We are spending a lot of time together, including many sleepovers.  The sex is good.  He feels like my boyfriend even though we haven't discussed that.  But -- There's one problem.

I need to break this to Andy.  I need to tell him I have a new friend.  I can't hurt Andy.  He was there for me during a very difficult and scary time in my life.  He has been a great, trusted friend.  I need him to understand that I need to have other friends.  I need to have an intimate friend.  Andy needs to be mature about this.

Last week I told him I was going to meet a guy I met on Grindr to play badminton.  He was concerned that in the process of showing me how to play badminton this guy would rub his body against mine.  The fact is that if I have a one on one friend who I met on Grindr it will become sexual.  I hope he can be mature enough to understand that.

I think if Andy had already met someone new then this situation would be easier. 

I also need Harry to understand this situation.  Gay relationships are often complicated.  Not just gay relationships, all relationships can be complicated.  I know he's concerned that Andy and I really aren't over.

Let's see how the next few days play out.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Great Weekend

Harry spent the entire weekend.  We went out for dinner tonight and then I dropped him at home. 

It was a quiet, fun weekend.  Movies, cooking, eating, long walk, talking......and something else.   He really liked the sleepovers.  I'm only number 5.  I'm convinced he's telling me the truth.    He never had a sleepover before.  Lot's of things he hasn't done.  He's really a newbie.  Today he said his biggest regret is not working harder to get into a relationship sooner.   After  this time with me he realizes how good a relationship could be.  He kept saying this feels so good.

Tomorrow makes two weeks since I met him.