Saturday, December 15, 2018

Naked Guys

In two days Tumblr will be porn free.  At least that's the plan.  Here's one thing that astounds me:  how can there be so many guys who have gotten naked for the camera?  I get it that many of them are from porn.  Sure, most of the pics with action are just snippets from porn.  But there are so many other guys who are naked in solo shots and it doesn't look like they are from porn.  They could be amateurs who posed for some shots, but they had to know these would end up on the internet.

It's just the sheer number of these guys that amazes me.  It has to be thousands....maybe tens of thousands.  Just the number of guys in porn is amazing....but then all the others in the solo shots?

I've never met a guy who has bared himself online for the whole world to see.  It can't be just for the money....if there's any money for most of these guys.  What's the motivation?  Exhibitionist fetish?

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Getting Back in Shape

I'm not sure why I've been so demotivated to work out.  I need to get back into this because I've drifted up by about two kg.  Just the treadmill for 30-40 minutes and some light weights would work.  I'm sure this will help my mental health too.  I feel better when I am working out regularly.

I should be 70 kg.  I'm 76 and that's a problem.  Even if I could get to 72 that would be great.

Maybe it's stress in my life that's hurting my motivation.  Many changes on the horizon.  It all should work out for the best, but until it's over there will be some anxiety.  In the spring I was going to the gym almost every day.  I had a routine.  Not sure why that fell apart.  I'd be less stressed right now if I had kept it up.

Friday, December 7, 2018

Four Boxes

A few years ago I was joking with a friend that I wanted to eventually reduce my life to four boxes.  A major downsizing.  It may have been a joke then, but now it may become reality.

As I walk around my house I see so many things I don't use or don't want.  This stuff can go.

Is 1000 sf enough for my new place?  Possibly yes.  Why do I need rooms I never use?  Why should I keep extra bedrooms all year long for the rare guests?  I don't need an extra bed room for the guest I have now.

Saturday, December 1, 2018


It's about 95% now.  I will move to NC......near Charlotte.  This will happen quickly.

Harry is upset.  Long distance relationships are hard.  He's not going to leave Canada.  He really can't.  He's on a path to permanent residency that isn't possible for him in the US.  I will be super busy for a year figuring out my new job.  We will still see each other.  For sure he will visit, and I will go to Toronto.

I ask him the question, "Did you enjoy the time we were together?"   Doesn't that mean a lot?  Isn't it better than having spent the time alone?

Relationships are almost never perfect.  Things happen.

Andy is another complicating factor in all this.

All this change has been stressful for me.  I have like no sex drive.  We're not as active sexually and I'm not jacking at all.  This is a stress point between Harry and I.  He would do it twice a day if I wanted.  Not sure what's wrong with me....all I can think of is stress.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Gay Friendly?

I was in Toronto last weekend.  Was anyone else at the Hottest Ass Contest on Saturday night?  We met a friend of Harry's and hung out with him.  So it was a good weekend.

Toronto feels so gay friendly.  Generally accepting of everyone.  This isn't always the case in the US.

I'm now seriously considering a move to North Carolina.  I just wonder how gay friendly that area is.  It's not the deep south, I'm happy about that.  I would be in one of the big cities - like Charlotte.  I like the temperate weather and easy access to a lot of places - like Atlanta and NYC.  I am just wondering if it's a place I would feel comfortable.  I need to get out of the biting cold....but where is the right place?

Monday, November 5, 2018

Quiet Weekend

Harry and I spent a quiet weekend.  I got some chicken tikka takeout last night and we watched a movie.  He had a few hours of homework today, so I spent time doing an online course.  A friend of his was coming into town late tonight, so he left about 10.  We got in our playtime a little earlier than normal tonight.

Andy called me a few times.  I texted him that I'd call later but then fell asleep.  He's pissed, I know.  I just can't take his call when Harry is here.  Harry isn't happy that I talk to him so much.  It's complicated.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

I Shouldn't Have

I have a great sex life these days.  Sex when we go to bed.  And then sex when I wake up.  Yes, twice a day.  He wants it again before I go to work.  It feels good to be wanted.  The sex is good, and we both really want to pleasure each other.

Anyway, last week I was out of town for a few days.  I generally don't masturbate when I have a bf.  Why should I?  I should save it for him.  But last week on the first of my two days away, I jacked.  I really enjoyed it too.  Not sure why I did it.  It was only one time.  I'm just struggling with why I enjoyed it so much.  Especially since I'm basically getting all the sex I can handle right now.