What's missing is new friends here. Just a few is all I need. I have friends all over the world. I wish so much that I could bring just one of them here to spend a few weeks.
I came across an article on this topic. "Making Friends is Hard After Thirty." Well if you think that's hard then try after fifty. The writer actually went to a therapist to discuss how how he could start developing friendships.
After thirty people are more settled into their lives. They might already have a group of long-term friends, and it's not likely a new person would break into that group. People over thirty are more likely to be married. Married couples are friends with other married couples. It would be awkward for me to be friends with a married hetero couple, but maybe I could be friends with a gay couple.
The first question the therapist asked was "how often do you leave your apartment?" Wow, blinding flash of the obvious. Potential friends are not going to just knock on your door to introduce themselves.
To have any possibility of making friends you have to interact with other people. There's the question of "where". Sorry, I'm just not going to randomly meet someone in the produce section at the grocery store. There are meetup groups and other planned events that might be a possibility.
These potential friends, do they have to be gay? Or are hetero friends ok? For me, probably they should be gay. That narrows the field somewhat.
I'm probably going to connect better with another "I". But other I's are more likely to not come out of their homes.
No, I'm not getting a dog!
Any ideas? Anyone want to help me out? Thanks.
meetup groups are a good start.
ReplyDeletehow about joining a club that interests you (e.g., walking, sports, books, etc.)?
https://www.pof.com
where do the gays hang out in your city? go there.
absolutely right, I have lived in many cities and joined meetup gay groups based on the same interests (NOT drinking, drugs, partying or $ex related. Like museum hopping etc, it's always fun and you get to talk to people and you might hit it off with some of them. It's the effort and the first step.
DeleteYep, Meetup is a great place to start.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what LGBT groups exist in your area where you can volunteer? The need is always great, your time and money always appreciated.
I completely understand the need for gay friends (sucks to be the only gay in the group, no matter how accepting the heteros). But are you looking for any gays with personal qualities for a friend, or you want "good looking friends who could be fwb"? Those two are often confused in the gay community.
If you're just looking for friends w/o restrictions on age/race, it's pretty easy to make some connections. In fact, lesbians and trans friends are wonderful since you won't be competing with each other over potential mates ;-) Also, I'm sad to say about my fellow gay men: lesbians are just lot more dependable as friends, and a lot less flaky.
I'm sure you'll make some connections whenever this quarantine ends. Good luck!
Ever visiting Norfolk Va... Retied Navy O and former rugby player fundraiser...
ReplyDelete