I'm Good with Vanilla

Over the last few weeks at home I've been spending more time reading blogs.   There are so many blogs out there by guys detailing their sexual experiences.  So many different ways guys seek sexual satisfaction.  There's the hookup after hookup after hookup guys......#312, and on and on?  Or the bathhouse. Or cruising parks and restrooms.

I've never done that stuff.  Thought about some of it.  Never did it.  Maybe I'm too boring or too cautious.    I remember standing near the door of Steamworks in Toronto.  I didn't intend to go in.  Just curious I guess.  Half joking I asked my more experienced friend if he would go there with me, just so I could check it out.  "You won't like it, trust me," he said.  I dropped it.

I just want to meet one guy.  One guy who actually likes me.  Who is, or could be, a friend.  That's who I want to have sex with.  I want it to be real, passionate sex.  An experience I won't regret later.

The hookup sites like Grindr are now the meeting places for guys.  The new gay bars. I'm glad about this....if it facilitates people making connections that's a good thing.  Some guys just want to meet for quick nsa fun.  Others are looking for more.  This is like any venue.  Some want a coffee date or the like to see how things develop.  I'm in the latter category.

With gay men sex usually happens quickly.  Even in my own experience.  That's ok.  But what happens when the sex is done?  "I want to see you again"  "Will you sleep with me tonight"  "Can we meet again for dinner or a movie?"  "Let's cuddle and talk for a few hours"   Those are the best outcomes.  I think back on those experiences and smile.  No regrets.

"Leave now".  That's another outcome, and I've had that happen.  It doesn't leave me feeling good.

The chemical change in a man's brain after he orgasms is amazing.  His perspective can change so quickly.  The guy he was just kissing and fucking now becomes someone he just wants gone.  Never wants to see again.  Maybe it's best described as when control shifts from small head to back to big head?  I don't want to be that guy he doesn't want to see again.

Maybe chocolate chip is ok once in a while, but I'm generally fine with vanilla.