How do you decide when to let your boyfriend move in?
It's a big decision. If the relationship later doesn't work out, then you're in an awkward situation. Or worst case, a seriously bad situation. I guess it's best not to think about the negative. If someone is thinking about letting their bf move in, then things certainly have a positive outlook.
The fact is, that as much as you think you know someone, there is always a possibility you could be wrong. If you dwell on that negative possibility then you will never develop a serious relationship with anyone. You'll be overcome with paranoia. Relationships are built on trust.
Next question: how do you decide when sex becomes bare?
Easier to answer the sex question first: Talk to him. You both must agree to be exclusive. Then get tested to confirm you're both negative for everything. THEN...give away your condoms to your single friends ;-)
ReplyDeleteMoving in together? Hmm...sounds harsh, but first, you both need figure out the finances so neither one of you feel taken advantage of at the end. Who's responsible for what bill? Who is going to move out in the end?
If you're the established guy, if it's over after a few months or years, consider the money you invested in the relationship as worthy of all the good times you enjoyed together. Don't ever expect to get paid back.
If you find yourself overspending because he expects you to pay for it all, you're getting taken advantage of and get out! There are usually signs before he even moves in...
I agree with Anonymous on the sex question. I think you need to know a person at least a year before moving in together. Some people act differently in the various seasons. Also, if you're still together after a year it indicates the ability to successfully navigate the holidays and other life events. I would compose a living together agreement which outlines how finances are handled and what happens if the relationship ends. My ex and I drew up an agreement at the suggestion our wealth manager. Of course we thought it would never be needed. It was needed 20 years later and it made splitting up a lot easier.
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