Sunday, March 16, 2014

Three Outs

I did everything right.  My dating coach would have been proud.  Even Patti Sanger would have approved. These three guys were definitely appropriate for me:

  1. All were right around my age.
  2. Two were divorced with kids.
  3. All were educated, professional guys.
  4. Body pics showed them to be in reasonable, but not great shape.  One was hairier than I like, but I didn't want to judge only on looks.  All probably not in as good a shape as me.
  5. All within 35 miles of me.
We connected on line and chatted for quite a while.  We seemed to have much in common.  Very little discussion of sex in the conversation.  There was a mutual, "We should meet."

"Yes, that would be great."  But first lets share pics.  Ok sure.

The first one:  "Thanks but I'm just not feeling like I'm attracted to you."

The second:  "I think you're really not my type."

The third:  A hasty goodbye, and I haven't heard from him.

This is really frustrating.  They wouldn't even give me the benefit of a meeting?  And then reject me?  I have to take the attitude that this is their loss, because I'm a good guy.  This just saved me a few wasted coffee dates.  It's just depressing because I seem to have such a low batting average lately.   


  1. That’s a lot of rejection to handle. Fear of rejection is one of the reasons I haven’t tried the online dating process.

  2. You definitely get props for making a good effort with appropriate guys.

    When I was attempting to date I made similar efforts with similar guys and had similar results. Because I see all the same guys on the same sites year after year, I can only assume that our experience is the rule, not the exception.

    What's appealing about Internet dating is that we can see a lot of prospects and easily sort through them. Well, those are real people we're sorting through and they're sorting through us. This sorting might seem efficient but that's questionable. If you can go to a bar, an event, or an activity and meet a bunch of people in person, isn't that more efficient than making coffee dates to meet the same number of people from the Internet? Dating sites are an extra step. They're mostly a screening device, a process cuts both ways.

    I've decided to skip the extra step of Internet screening and instead find ways to meet people in person. Now I don't have to deal with constant rejection. That's a win all on it's own.

  3. I've been in your shoes too recently. I guess I don't have a personality that translates very well through photos. If I meet in person, it usually goes well. If for some reason I reluctantly send a face pic first, it's almost certain there will be no meeting. You're in good (but sometimes lonely) company.

  4. hey that's singapore in the background, haha

  5. it is just the way it is. Be optimistic. One guy's loss is another guy's gain.