Monday, March 3, 2014

It Gets Worse

I had another call with Seth this weekend.  Now I'm pissed off.

Last week he had a long conversation with this new bf -- who he now refers to as his "partner."  The bf told Seth that his wife has been there for him and his family through some very bad times.  So even though it's a loveless marriage, he cannot leave her.  Also, he has a very good job and is well known in the community, so leaving his wife for a man really isn't an option.  This guy has two sons in their early twenties.  So at the end of the conversation, Seth decided to STAY WITH HIM!  

"I know there's lots of reasons I shouldn't be doing this, but I've never met anyone so perfect for me."

This statement made me really angry.  Really?  WTF was I?

The bf now has a key to his apartment.  He comes in at 5am and crawls into Seth's bed.  Seth comes home and finds roses all over his bed and candles lit.   Seth is looking for a new apartment close to his bf.  Getting a new apartment in Germany is a big deal.

"I don't want to be a homewrecker.  Doing something detrimental to another family is totally against my culture."    Really!  Then wtf are you doing it??

They can see each other for one or two hours a day.  Except for Thursday -- because that's the day his bf has his bible study class.   AWWWWWWW!!!!  I want to scream.

My relationship with Seth was more than five years ago.  I still really care about him.  He has many good qualities, but he is stupid sometimes.  Emotions can rule for him, whereas I'm driven by rationality.  He lives 4000 miles away and a continuing relationship with him just wasn't going to happen.  I've moved on, but the hard part is that I haven't connected with anyone else like I did with him.  Now it feels like I value the relationship we had a lot more than he does.


  1. They're in the honeymoon phase, just wait until the glow wears off.

    Here's my prediction: the bf will start taking Seth for granted, then Seth will become resentful and needy. Drama will ensue and, eventually, the bf will decide he doesn't need the drama.

    Seth is setting himself up for a lot of pain. Unless he decides he's going to go rogue and out the bf to his wife, the bf has absolutely nothing to lose in this situation. Seth can have an apartment nearby but that doesn't mean the bf is going to spend much time there. How many weekends will Seth spend alone? How many vacations will he and the bf share? What about birthdays and holidays? It's easy to be optimistic now, when the bf is showering him with attention, but just wait...this will not end well.

    As for your connection with Seth, I totally empathize. Be hurt, be mad. Let all those emotions and frustrations out. That's the only way I know of to purge yourself of the pain. It also wouldn't to hurt to find a new guy, but as we both know, that's far easier said than done.

  2. Emotions can rule for him, whereas I'm driven by rationality.

    Really dude?

    Drop the emotions for your former BF and move on. If his dough headed actions are going to ire you, then move on. Who needs that? Don't get yourself worked up over someone else's drama.

    (and I agree with Two Lives....easier said than done.)

  3. It’s hard to watch someone you care about make an unwise decision even when you have moved on.

  4. I can completely relate! Love is blind sometimes and make you do dumb things.