A few weeks ago I got a call out of the blue from a guy I've been chatting with online for a few months. It's 10:55pm and he's wondering what I'm up to. He's not far from me and pretty persistent about meeting. He's only a few minutes away.....so why not I think.
I occasionally chatted with this guy for a few months, and really wasn't that interested. He's 27, Filipino, a nursing student, and lives with his parents. Lot's of reasons NOT to meet him.
Holy shit. He's one of the best looking Asian guys I've ever met. Picture Manti T'eo, but not buff. Looks more Pacific Islander, Samoan than Filipino. Like 5'10, 180. Now he's persistent about doing more.
Little head takes over. He wants to play and I can't stop myself. We end up in my bedroom for sex light. Mainly just jo.
"I really want to see you again," I tell him as he leaves. "Text me," he says.
I message him the next day. No response. "Call me" I say. No response. Now this doesn't feel so good. Failing my litmus test for sex.
He was horny as fuck that night and I helped him out. End of story. I'm twenty years older than him and he's not interested in anything more. This should be a surprise to me?
It seems like I keep relearning this lesson.
I go back to my litmus test for sex: Do I view the experience positively after the fact?
When a guy blows me off afterwards I don't view that positively. Maybe my standards are too high.
If I want something more than just a one time thing I need to stay closer to my own age. I know there are always exceptions, and people win the lottery too. However, if I am looking at this from the perspective of probabilities -- what kind of guy is likely to turn into more than a one time hookup? -- then I should be dating guys closer to my own age.
The problem is that so many guys who are "supposedly my age" look a lot older. I know everyone over 40 (or is it 30) lies about their age, but this is ridiculous. How do I find the 48 year old guy who looks like this?