The possibility of my China trip is not looking good. Four days into my bf's return home, the visit is going so badly that he's already talking about returning.
His parents are hounding him about getting married. They arranged for him to meet some woman who is the daughter of an aunt's friend. Apparently he is the talk of the whole family and his parents are humiliated. After some screaming, he's not talking to his parents. To add salt to the open wounds, he and his parents are invited to the engagement party of his much younger cousin.
In most Western families when a man is 37, unmarried, and no girlfriends, someone would discreetly ask the question, "Are you gay?" But not in this part of China. My bf insists that his parents have no concept of what "gay" is.
The whole situation is miserable. I wish I knew what to do, but I don't.
I feel sorry for both of you. He's got to be under some serious pressure. Keeping your sexuality a secret is not an easy task and requires constant work, which is why it's much easier to come out but only if it's safe to do so. I get that it's not safe for him. Shame that he can't enjoy a trip home without the pressure from his family. He's an individual and is old enough and wise enough to live his life. I mean otherwise how would he have made it this far in life? I get that it can be difficult to cut the apron strings but at some point you have to let go. Nothing or no one will ever change the fact that he is their son. I hope that this all works out for the best. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you some advices. When your bf involves in such serious family matters, all you can do is to listen patiently to him. It is all down to him on how he is gonna talk his way out of the predicament. I feel sorry for you and him. Hope he can find his way out from this.
ReplyDeleteWere you supposed to join him in China?
ReplyDeleteHe asked me to come for two weeks. Late August maybe.
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