Looking Forward

 

It's so important to have things in your life to look forward to.  It could be a visit, or even a phone call, with friends.  A holiday with family.  A trip.  Many things.  

Something are just handed to you.   The holiday gathering.  The visit from friends.   Some things you have to make happen, such as the trip.

I stopped working a year ago.  It feels like a year has blown by and I've done very little.  I've had some trips.  My bf visited for a while.  I have these long stretches, sometimes eight weeks, where I am just sitting at home without much to do.  Sure, I'm walking, exercising, reading books.  However, I'm feeling somewhat unfulfilled by that.  I didn't complete some goals I had.

What are you looking forward to? 

Thinking about gratitude.  This week I had a chest cold.  A productive cough and just not feeling up to par.  I was able to take things easier this week.  Contrast my situation to my Burmese friend who owns something like a food stall.  We were just talking about how he has no safety net if he's sick.  If he's sick he still has to work.  I imagine some friends would jump in if he was so sick that he absolutely could not work, but that would take heroic efforts.  So I am grateful for my situation. 

Eight Regrets

 

 

I saw this and was thinking about my own life.  I've checked off some of the regrets I have.  Some, like working too much, I can't do anything about that now.  I'm past working.  Others, like calling family too little, I feel like I've fixed in the last five years.  

Waiting for perfect timing - I'm cognizant of that now and doing better.

Staying in toxic places - I'm not in a toxic place now, but wish I had left toxic places sooner in the past. 

I'm also a lot more cognizant of gratitude over the last few years.  I might not be happy with everything in my life, but I am relatively better off than most people and have no right to complain. 

Just returned from a week in New England.  Four weeks at home, and then I'm off to Toronto for a few weeks.  Speaking of "no perfect timing," I'm thinking about a trip somewhere in October.  Undecided.

 

 

Time

 The "right" time doesn't exist. 

There is just time and what you choose to do with it. 

What I'm Watching

 

I just finished watching this two season drama/dark comedy.  This show is set in a super-affluent Westchester County village.  The plot is more than a little crazy, but it held my attention.  Many shows have some kind of take-away for me.  In this case, the way these people live is probably not so unrealistic.  Even if I had this kind of money, I would want no part of it.  As I watched the show I kept thinking, I would not fit in here and I would not want to be anywhere near this place.

The ending was perfect.  The show's lead is bowling with his family.  You can't get anymore simple and down to earth than bowling.  The commoner's sport.  He asks his ex-wife, "Do we really need all this?"

Unsolicited Comment

 Last night by bf cuddled up next to me in bed.  He ran his hands over me.  "Your body is becoming quite muscular," he said.

 

 

Blogger Malfunction

 Why can't I post comments?  I keep getting an error, "Failed to publish.  Please try again later"

Other People

 

 

I notice one very common theme among self-help books -- stop caring about what other people think of you.  Think about Mel Robbins - "The Let Them Theory",  "The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fu&k", "The Courage to be Disliked",  "The Art of Letting Go", "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu&k".....the list goes on and on.

The fact that this is a topic in many self-help books indicates (to me anyway) that it's a problem for a lot of people. 

I agree, it's all good advice.  The reality is that probably no one is thinking about you anyway.  Even though this seems easy, it can actually be difficult.  If you are caring about what others think, then you are forever their prisoner.   Great saying.   You're wasting a lot of time. 

Sometimes I just want to vanish.  I don't want anyone thinking about me or looking me up.  The reality is that probably no one cares and this is not anything I need to worry about.  That's why I don't really need to vanish. 

This kind of self-help advice is similar to "stop agonizing over the past -- you can't change it so move on."