Taking Stock

 

Definition:

Taking stock means to pause, review a situation, and think carefully about your options before deciding what to do next.

 

It's now been about sixteen months since I left my job and decided to retire.  I had plans to make it a "semi" retirement.  I would work perhaps three months of the year.  That hasn't happened and I feel like I've done nothing for the last sixteen months.  

I feel like I've done nothing, but that really isn't true. I decided to go back month-by-month and create a high level diary I've what I've done.  This was a good idea because I realize it's not so bad.  I've had a number of trips.  I've been to visit family.  I've traveled with my bf.  I've taken a course.  I've looked for interim work.  I've gotten call backs.  Nothing came through.  I could have looked harder.

The hardest part for me is the eight or ten weeks at home between trips.  I am out walking/running, I'm exercising, I'm reading books, I'm taking care of personal business like medical appointments. I am in better shape and stronger.  I'm also wasting a lot of time wandering around my house, looking at TikTok and surfing the internet.  Some would call the last part "brain rot".

Some people retire and give up their home.  They just travel twelve months of the year.  That's not for me.  Some people relocate to Mexico, Spain or some other country.  Also not for me.  Travel for six months plus or minus?  That could work for me.

I knew a guy who retired from high level job.  He was bored and took a job at Starbucks.  I really don't want to do that.

I had some relatives who retired to Florida but also kept a small home on the Maine seacoast for the summers.  In Florida they mainly watched TV and drank manhattans.  Occasional golf and part-time jobs, but a lot of time in front of the tv.  They had about fifteen good years before health issues took their toll.  This is a scary scenario to me.  Watching tv most of the day....omg what a nightmare.  This is what I for sure do not want to do.

On the sofa all day = death.

If I don't find any interim job, it's no big deal.  I don't "need" to do it.  I'm thankful for that.  If I can get an interim job, especially during these few years before ss and medicare, it would complete things for me.    I'll look for some other options.  I need to be a little more creative.

I cancelled my trip to Portugal, Spain, maybe Morocco planned for October/November.  Why did you do that when you are complaining about too much time at home?  Being completely honest, my bf changed his plans and asked to stay at my place for November.  I'd rather cuddle with him here every night than travel by myself.  The emotion that drove the decision.

This weekend I'm "taking stock."  What's working?  What isn't?  What changes do I need to make. 

 

Does this make sense?

 I came across this and it seems to make a lot of sense to me... 

1.  Social media = validation disguised as connection

2.  Porn = loneliness disguised as pleasure

3. Alcohol = escape disguised as entertainment

4.  Drugs = numbness disguised as calm

5.  Endless scrolling = distraction disguised as relaxation

6.  Luxury = emptiness disguised as success

7.  Smoking = dependence disguised as stress relief

 

Asexual

 

Definition: 

An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction – they are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, just like other sexual orientations. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or better; we just face a different set of needs and challenges than most sexual people do. 

In this group of gay friends that my bf is on the edge of, there is a gay couple who are engaged.  However, one of the guys in this couple is having an NSA sexual relationship with another guy in the wider group.  "Why would he do that?  He's engaged." I asked.  The answer is that the other guy in the couple is asexual.  I questioned is there really such a thing as asexual?  How can someone be like that?  I've heard the term "asexual" used in a joking fashion about guys, but not as a serious diagnosis.  It is a real diagnosis, and there is actually an asexual pride flag (shown above).

It's important not to judge.  If this is the way the guy feels, then it's his preference, his business.  Maybe he gets satisfaction in a different way.

So many different stories coming out of this thirty person gay group that my bf tells me about.

What I'm Reading

 

I rarely read non-fiction.  This is a new and popular book, and I thought I'd try it.  More than 200 holds at my library.  It's an easy read.  I'm about half way through it.

Change in Plans

I was considering a trip to Portugal, Spain and Morocco in October.  I've nixed it.  No one to go with and my heart just wasn't into it.  Maybe next year.  I am for sure going to do my Asia trip.  Planned departure date January 20th. 

My bf can't extend his lease past October, and he asked if he can spend November at my place.  This is a good trade off for me.

I want to try to do some short road trips in November.  This will be different for me and certainly easier than flying somewhere.

There are no travel deals anymore.  Flying is so expensive now.  Probably because of oil prices and the demise of Spirit.  Flights I could buy for $80 last year are now over $200.

I can't believe another summer is nearly over.  Elections in two months and I'm hoping for real change.  That's the big upcoming event.  It's astounding that Trump sycophants are winning primary elections. Watching Lindsey Graham's sister was sickening.  I keep hearing that his approval rating is down to 33% -- really??  How can it possibly still be that high?  

I'm Back

 

The weekend in Montreal was fun.  We left on Tuesday morning.  It's a smaller city than Toronto with a European feel.  I would go back.

More travel challenges on this trip than I've experienced in a long while.  Two of the three legs of my trip were cancelled and rebooked to much later.  We were supposed to arrive in Montreal at 11am on Saturday.  Our flight was cancelled and we got there at 9pm.  My departure flight on Tuesday also cancelled an replaced with a crazy two stop routing through Halifax and Newark.  After an hour and a half on the phone I got it changed to something reasonable. 

The gay pride was smaller than Toronto and certainly tamer.  Montreal has a Gay Village that is considerably larger than Toronto.  My bf and I don't drink (boring people I guess) so we walked through the Village but that's all.   Toronto seems much bigger, and definitely more spread out.

Finding good restaurants is a challenge.  None of the ones we chose in Montreal really hit.  They weren't bad but nothing we would run back to. 

Next trip is NYC again in a month.   

What I'm Reading

 

So far this year I have read eleven books.  More than I've read for years.  I have a hold on American Scoundrel.  It's just being released and on order at the library.  Roy Cohn was a vile human being, but I think this will be an interesting story.

Donald Trump's two most important mentors:  Roy Cohn and Jeffrey Epstein.   Can you imagine?