Next Trip

 

I'm off to Toronto next week for 12 days.  My bf was visiting me for six weeks in May and June, and I miss having him in my bed to cuddle up to.  So excited to spend time in Toronto.  Looking for some new restaurants to try.  I have my favorites, but want to try new ones as there is no shortage.  Definitely will go to the Toronto Islands.  My bf asked if I want to go to Hanlan's Point nude beach....maybe 😜.  As an added twist, we will go to Montreal on my last weekend.  I've never been there, a new place is always exciting.  It happens to be the Gay Pride that weekend too.  I've heard Montreal is a little more wild than Toronto, so that will be fun.

This is Hard

 

This exercise is harder than it looks.  Finally I can do it.  Need to improve my form a bit to do it like this guy.

Closetocracy

Hunter Biden has been making the rounds to various podcasts.  He claims that there is a group of very powerful people in government, mostly Republicans, who are gay.  He calls it a "cabal" or a "closetocracy."  Lindsey Graham was the most prominent of the group, but there are many others. 

Hunter Biden isn't exactly an upstanding citizen.  I'm not exactly sure what he's trying to accomplish.  It's fairly obvious he's an angry guy.  He benefited from his father's presidency, but says that the Trumps have taken it to an entirely different realm.  I believe that.  

I'm surprised none of these guys has been publicly outed.  Anything is possible in the toxicity of Washington.

Being Present

 

It's only in the last few years that I am understanding what it means to be "present".  I'm one of those people whose mind is often everywhere.  I'm thinking about so many other things, often past events, while ignoring what's going on around me.  Sometimes I will be watching tv and realize I have no idea what happened in the last 30 minutes.  Sometimes I'm thinking about negative events in my life that I could have or wished that I handled better.  Why??  Do I think I can rewrite the past years later? 

Someone suggested that I read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  A little difficult for me to absorb.

So "being present" means focused on what is going on around me, and not mentally somewhere else.

So when I'm cooking for 16 people I have to be present.  Following recipes, ingredients on the counter, pots simmering on the stove, turkey in the oven.  Knowing how long each dish takes to make and cook with a 2pm dinner on the table target means the day has to be carefully choreographed.  Altruistic acts are also a driver of happiness.

When I travel I often go with a rough plan and handle the details day by day.  That means booking hotels, deciding on what sights to see, figuring out how to go from one place to another.  This planning along with taking in a completely new and usually totally foreign location forces me to be present.  Experiences are drivers of happiness more that just buying "things". 

Being fully present in the moment, not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, increases happiness.

What makes me happy....

 

I think a lot about what makes me happy.  That means thinking back about experiences.  What left me with a warm feeling?  An experience I feel good about reminiscing about?  I would want to do more of these kinds of activities.

Last year I made Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for sixteen people.  Mostly family and my father who is going on 87, but still driving and active.  I have quite a few family members who are over 75 years old and for some of them, they are slowing down a lot.  One of my aunts came to Christmas dinner for the first time in many years.  She didn't want to go to her daughter's (my cousin) because she didn't want to go somewhere she wasn't wanted.  Another aunt was recently widowed and has no one else.

My own cooking skills surprised me.  The group was so complimentary at the number of side dishes I made.  They raved about the white chocolate cheesecake.  I really felt like the praise was genuine.  People came back for more servings.  They wouldn't have done that of they didn't like it.

My father was really happy with the dinners, and also so happy to host such a large gathering.

Thinking back, I have a warm, good feeling about these holidays.  I want to do it again this year and in the future.   

I found that some of my trips, where I am so engrossed in my travels and so present, also make me happy.

Sometimes when sitting at home I will dwell on negative things that happened in the past.   Why didn't I handle it differently and generally overthinking.  What is the point of that?   I need to focus on what has made me happy and repeat.

WTF was that?

Trump gave a speech on election integrity on Thursday night.   Can anyone tell me what he said?   What a confusing mess.  He just looks more and more unhinged.

Maybe he should have his testosterone tested? 

Sexual Harassment

 

 

My bf was just at a small dinner party with members of this gay group he's on the fringes of.  One of the guys was telling them how he was recently a victim of sexual harassment.  He just returned from China on a very long flight.  He decided to get a massage from someone a friend recommended.  He was so tired he fell asleep during the massage.  He awoke to find that his shorts were taken off, the masseur had jacked him off and was now wiping him off.  He said he was asleep and didn't consent to this.  He made a report to the police.  Two other guys at the dinner know this masseur.  One had hooked up with him and another had dated him for a few weeks.  

I find it a bit unbelievable that this could happen without the guy waking up.  Since he's a gay masseur who specializes in gay clients, especially Asian guys, maybe this is just part of his normal services.  I think it's kind of overreaction to go to the police with this.  My bf insists it's sexual harassment. 

Apparently the masseur had to do some community service.  However I was telling my bf that in the US he probably would have done jail time and been placed on the sexual predator list.