Grindr Blocked

Malaysia doesn't often appear in news headlines here in the U.S., so I was surprised to see this headline: 

Grindr, Blued Blocked in Malaysia as Anti-LGBTQ+ Push Widens

The Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission, the country’s Internet regulator, is “examining several legislative measures to curb these applications.”   The article goes on to discuss the increasingly conservative shift in this predominantly Muslim country.  Other apps that promote "deviant" relationships will also be blocked.  Malaysia has some of Southeast Asia’s strictest laws governing LGBTQ+ people. Same-sex intercourse is outlawed under both a colonial-era sodomy statute and Islamic sharia law applicable to Muslims, with penalties ranging from fines and caning to imprisonment. 

 

This country is adopting a more extreme stance on LGTBQ, but I think we are seeing some of this in many other parts of the world.

 

I remember opening Grindr while I was in Malaysia and a warning popped up:  CAUTION:  You are in a conservative Muslim country.  It is best not to post your face picture and use caution when meeting people. 

 

I met two guys while I was in KL.   Both Malay.  My impression was that Malaysia operated on sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  One of the guys was devout Muslim and was secretive about his sexuality, but that didn't stop him from meeting guys.   The other guy had told his mum he was gay, probably after a thousand questions about when he would marry.  I was surprised that many local guys posted face pics on Grindr.  There was a gay club not far from my hotel in Bukit Bintang.  Somewhat confusing?  An uneasy recognition of gay people?

 

All this will just force gay people underground.  Things go back to secret apps and underground clubs that were in existence years ago. 

 

Why can't everyone be accepted? 

Open Means Over?

I've heard over and over again that gay relationships have a short half life.  The spark goes out and the excitement with sex dies out.  One or both of the parties often seeks satisfaction somewhere else, and the relationship opens.  Does this mean the relationship is over?  I'm not sure this is always the case.  

I remember reading another blogger who was in what seemed to be a stable relationship with his husband.  He mentioned that periodically he spent time with another guy "who gives me something I can't get from my husband".  What does that mean?   Not sure.  He wasn't in a sexless marriage though. 

Is there a difference in outcomes if the relationship is "dead bedroom"? 

Dead Bedrooms

I hadn't heard this term before.  Maybe it's Asian slang.  This came up in the sex discussions that my bf doesn't want to hear.  It means a couple who are still together, but no longer have sex.  There was a discussion of certain couples in the larger group who are in this situation.  What have they done?  Go to an open relationship?  Perhaps rely on their right hand?  Some of these couples are only in their late twenties -- how could this happen?  I've heard that most gay couples eventually get bored with each other and either break up or go to an open relationship.  The consensus seems to be at around three years.

Assuming the violence dies down, I'll be in Yucatan Mexico with my bf next week and will hear a lot more. 

Oversharing

My bf is on the fringes of a large group of Asian gay guys.  When he's feeling less antisocial, he sometimes socializes with smaller groups of them.  The topic of conversation is often sex.  The larger group is a mix of couples and single guys.  He will tell me about the conversations sometimes, and usually say that he doesn't want to hear about their sex lives.  Haha, but I can tell he does want to hear about it.  I've told him that I think he actually does like hearing about what they do.  It seems interesting.  The group is active, and at least one of them is probably a sex addict.  Topics all over the place, from hookups to which couples are having challenges, open or even sexless.

While we were talking a few days ago he mentioned that he had told them something about our sex life.  I recoiled a bit and he could tell.  I'm a private person and not sure how I feel about this.  Not really a big deal I think.  Maybe it's good to show them some of our humanity?  They know who I am.  I've socialized with the larger group one time, although I find it awkward because they are mostly speaking Chinese.  I've socialized with smaller groups a few times.  I'll see my bf in ten days and we can discuss.    

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On another note, beautiful weather today.   I feel like winter is over.  At 7am it was 59 F (15 C).  I went running three miles.  It felt really good.  Yesterday I went out for a walk around 6:30am.  It was still dark, but so many people out running and walking.  Morning people.  I'm going to go out more in the early morning. 

Warm Weather!

 

The cold weather seems to have passed.   The next three days will be above 70 F (21 C).  I am thankful for this.  I've lost my tolerance for cold weather.  This weather is an opportunity to go running, and I need a break from my spin bike.  I'll do it a little differently this time.   I will try interval training.  Specifically a Norwegian variation called 4x4.   It's supposed to be highly effective in improving VO2 Max and reducing visceral fat.  Something different, let's see how it goes.

Two weeks until my Mexico trip.   I'm excited to get out of town and have an adventure.  Not Cancun!  I'm really turned off by that touristy place.   I've never been on the Maya Train, so looking forward to that.  I've been tagging restaurants and sights I want to visit.  I want this to be slower travel.  Not multiple cities in ten days like I often do.   This time just two locations -- one in the city and one at the beach, and they are only one hour apart.  Explore and absorb the local culture.

No luck on an interim job yet.  I need to work a little harder on it.  I'm thinking about a trip to Europe in September and October.  So that would be a hard stop date on any work plans.  On a trip a few years ago I met some girls who seem to just travel all year long.   They were raving about Morocco being their favorite country.  I'm thinking I want to go there.  Should be easy to travel to Tangier from Spain. 

  

 Everyone is entitled to secrets.

Disneyland

 

Imagine a one day trip to Disneyland.  Knowing that the park is generally open from 8am to 11pm, you would want to make sure you go to all the attractions you're interested in.  As the day progresses, there might be a little anxiety as you try to fit in all the attractions on your list.  You learn the layout and operation, and become more efficient in making your way through the park.  You want to maximize this day.  By 7pm, with four hours left, you think hard about what you want to do in the remaining time.  Disneyland is huge, and you can't possible see everything in one day.  At 11pm you'll  have some regret about the attractions you missed.

If my life was a one day visit to Disneyland, then it's 7:26pm.  Only a few hours left.  Use them well.