Other People

 

 

I notice one very common theme among self-help books -- stop caring about what other people think of you.  Think about Mel Robbins - "The Let Them Theory",  "The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fu&k", "The Courage to be Disliked",  "The Art of Letting Go", "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu&k".....the list goes on and on.

The fact that this is a topic in many self-help books indicates (to me anyway) that it's a problem for a lot of people. 

I agree, it's all good advice.  The reality is that probably no one is thinking about you anyway.  Even though this seems easy, it can actually be difficult.  If you are caring about what others think, then you are forever their prisoner.   Great saying.   You're wasting a lot of time. 

Sometimes I just want to vanish.  I don't want anyone thinking about me or looking me up.  The reality is that probably no one cares and this is not anything I need to worry about.  That's why I don't really need to vanish. 

This kind of self-help advice is similar to "stop agonizing over the past -- you can't change it so move on."   

Food Delivery

 

Every time I order food delivery I say never again.  It's almost always a disappointment for me.  But -- this weekend I got a promotion for $20 off.  Since I often can't resist what seemed like a good promotion, I decided to give it another try.  Actually two tries.  Besides, my bf is here and we didn't feel like cooking.  

This weekend didn't change my mind.   I won't rush to do it again.  Even with $20 off each delivery I didn't think it was a good value.  The first one was Chinese -- I would just describe as disappointing.  The second was Mexican - I would describe as terrible.  

Is this the biggest problem in my life?  Seriously?  Complaining about food delivery?  If so, then I must be living a fairly good life.  

NYC

 

I'm back from NYC.  Great trip!  Every time I go, there are new areas to explore.  For the last two nights we were staying near Hudson Yards - West Side at 34th St.  We walked down the waterfront trail from 34th St to Canal St passing through Little Island and Chelsea Pier, and then across Canal St through Chinatown, and then north to the East Village/Tompkins Park..  Lunch at Danny & Coop's - worth the hype.

Another day we went to Prospect Park in Brooklyn.  After lunch we walked north to the Brooklyn Promenade.

We had to walk the Highline again - my bf pointed out it was the third time..  South to Soho and West Village 

Two Broadway shows - Lost Boys and Aladdin. 

A highlight of NYC is the restaurants -- I had over 150 restaurants tagged in my Google Maps.   

What an amazing city, but five days was enough for me.

Wegovy?

 

Two months ago I had my annual physical.  I noticed my doc is now an "obesity medicine specialist" so I asked her about my weight loss plateau.  I've been stuck at 166 lbs for months.  She made a bunch of suggestions, including intermittent fasting and drinking kombucha.  I was already doing IF.  She said, since your BMI is 25.2, you are technically overweight.  I'd be ok with giving you low dose oral Wegovy.  It wouldn't be covered by insurance as you have to have a BMI over 30.  It's $150 per month and she recommended taking it for six months. 

Based on my waist measurement, I'm at ~25% body fat right now.  Higher than I'd like.  I'd like to be under 20%.  Without a Dexa scan, you never really know because muscle mass is the missing variable.   

I can't tell you the number of people I've met who tell me they are taking Wegovy or a like medication.  The results are often amazing.   

I told her I'd try harder for another six months before deciding.  I've basically decided at this point not to do it.  I'd rather spend $120 a month on a gym than on Wegovy.  At some point I'll get a Dexa.  I found a place in Toronto that does them for 85 CAD -- way less than in the U.S.  

Waist measurement is the magic number for me now --  34 to 35" is the target.  That's a ~2" reduction.  In fact, if I can get to below 35", I don't even care what my weight is.   

Weak

One thing I realize from my fitness efforts is that I am physically weaker than I should be.  What is a reasonable weight for a bicep curl or chest press?  I attribute this to years working long hours in an office job.  There's another blogger called Corporate Slave -- that's what I was, a corporate slave.  I wish I was more cognizant of it at the time, and not just getting hit with the realization now.  How can you get motivated to exercise and stay in shape when you are often working eleven hours a day?  And sometimes more.  It's not healthy at all.

After working so hard for years, what happened?  Kicked to the curb.  I advise people now that loyalty to a corporation is foolish.

Physical strength is correlated with longevity.   Just like VO2 Max is correlated to longevity.  I've made good progress over the last year, but I can do better.  Progress is slower that I had hoped, but I'm not 25 anymore.

I can't agonize over what I should have done differently in my life.  I can't change the past.  When I think back, I realize there were reasons why things happened the way they did.  

Progress

 

It's been eight weeks since I returned from my Mexico trip.  Since that time I've been working out 5-6 days per week.  Lifting with progressive overload, and I have made progress.  From zero pull-ups to five.  (I keep thinking of that show "Boots" -- yay, now I can join the Marines.)  Cardio with spin bike, running, and kettlebell.  Lot's of walking.  I'm eating 1500-1600 calories a day, so probably a 500 calorie deficit.  Carefully weighing and measuring my food.  I'm generally hitting my protein target of 130 grams per day.  Intermittent fasting and drinking kombucha.  I've been consistent over the eight weeks.  OMG, what else can I possibly do?  I guess a gym and trainer, that would be the next level for me.

Where am I after eight weeks?  I've lost about 1 kg.  I'm at 75 kg and a BMI of 25.2.  Waist measurement reduced by 1 inch.  Definitely have added muscle mass....I can see and feel it.  This started out as a plan to lose some weight over a few months, and has become an obsession.  If I stay at the same weight, but reduce my waist measurement and add muscle mass, I'm happy with that.

The real test is what does my bf say?  Will he notice a big difference?  If he says no change, I'm going to beat him. 

       

The Sex Addict

 

 

This close friend of my bf invited him to go to the park because it was warmer yesterday and some cherry trees had started to blossom.  A few guys from the "gay group" me them there.  One of the guys is called "the sex addict".  He's not shy about sharing his adventures.  He's also not shy about giving sex advice.  My bf was telling me about how this guy is always hooking up with two or three guys.  "A week?", I asked.   "NO, a day".  In fact, when they were leaving this guy said he wanted to get home quickly as there was still time for one more hookup today.  

I've met this guy one time.  Very clean cut, Asian guy who has a good job at a bank.  I never would have guessed this lifestyle.  His life, his choice.  He is protected and seems to know what he's doing.  I don't want to judge as it's not my business, and many people would probably judge me as having a super boring life.  Not exactly sure how to describe this, but people have different levels of risk taking, boldness or bravery.

The other guys, including my bf, seem so interested in his stories.  When I suggested to my bf that he seemed to like hearing this guy's adventures, he shut me down and said he doesn't want to hear about it.  I don't believe him.  I have to admit, I'm a bit curious to hear what he's up to.    

The guys were asking my bf about our trip to Mexico.  "Did you guys meet anyone?" they asked.  Meet anyone?  What does that mean?   Like for a three-way?  We didn't even think about it.   I guess we are both super boring.  Interesting that they nonchalantly brought this up as a normal thing to do. 

Two more weeks until our NYC trip.  Just me and my bf this time.  His close friend is not coming.   I think no money.  I like his friend, but this is fine with me. 

Eight weeks of working out pretty consistently since we returned from Mexico.  Let's see if my bf thinks I've made any progress.  I feel like I have.  I know I have.  I am less focused on weight now and more focused on abdominal measurement at the belly button.     

I wanted to do some travel in October, but not sure that's a good idea with the war going on and likely jet fuel shortages.  TBD -- no need to decide yet.