Sharing Sensitive Topic

It's great when friends feel so comfortable with you that they share sensitive personal information.  This happened recently when a friend told me about his challenges with erectile dysfunction.  He's become surprisingly knowledgeable on the topic -- not only for his personal challenge, but how this problem is affecting society.  For my friend, he's been experimenting with ED drugs, generic Viagra and Cialis, with good success.  However, he's really bothered by how he got here -- the cause.  ED can be caused by other health problems, like obesity, circulation problems or diabetes, but often it just gradually occurs as you age.

My friend always thoroughly researches a topic he's interested in.   He was explaining to me how widespread ED has become in society.  In his view the main culprit is the widespread availability of porn.  PIED -- Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction is apparently an epidemic.  The concerning thing here is the population being affected by ED -- it's not just men over 50.  It's men in their 20's and even younger.  Look at online postings where 20 year old guys bemoan their ED and describe their use of porn going back to twelve years old.  Stopping porn is a start, but it's not a quick cure.

Some states have started to require age verification to access porn sites.  I guess that's somewhat helpful in keeping minors out.  What's one of the biggest porn sites these days?  It's X (fka Twitter).  There's no age verification for that site.  Several people have told me that X is their go-to for porn these days.

As my friend was explaining, prior to the internet, or let's say more than forty years ago -- how many penises (in a porn context) did a man see in his life?  Ten?   Twenty?    How many penises has the regular porn user seen in his life now, even if he's 25 years old?  Easily tens of thousands.   What does that do to the brain?  

The day of reckoning is here for the ill effects of porn. 

What I Will NOT be Watching

 

This documentary film is turning out to be an embarrassing bomb.  Ticket sales are abysmal.  This is an Amazon production, so basically a Jeff Bezos bribe.  Melania was paid $40 mil upfront and gets 70% of the backend.  She also gets 100% of the corporate sponsorships -- each are $10 mil.   Amazon has spent $38 mil in advance promotion.  All of this is unheard of.  At absolute most, a documentary might cost $5 mil. 

Certainly this helps the late night pundits who are ridiculing this film to no end. 

What I'm Watching

 

This was good -- great story and acting.   I recommend.

 

 This is a six episode series on Prime.  Suspenseful story.  Many twists and turns.  Recommend.

Cold and Cold Virus

 

The last two weeks have been a combination of cold weather and a bad cold for me.  The temperature has dipped to 17 F (-8 C) on some mornings.  This is well below normal and I'm finding it uncomfortable.  However it's better than the two feet of snow that fell in the northern US.   This is making me think about next January.  I'd like to be in Asia for two months and avoid the cold.  I'm thinking about Da Nang aka "The Miami of Asia", as a place to go.  I could fly into Singapore through Qatar, with a four day layover in Doha on the way.  I haven't flown through the Middle East before.  I love planning these trips.

No job has come through for me yet.  Some phone calls on opportunities that didn't pan out, but that's it.  I need to do something.   I can't watch TV or TikTok for hours a day.  An even better option than an interim job is a remote job, or my own business.  A trip to the grocery store is my excitement right now.  It seems like time is going by in a blur and I don't like that.

Near term, I am planning a few short trips.  Yucatan Mexico in March,  NYC in May, and Toronto in June.  These will be a good distraction for me.

I'm not there on happiness.  I like the gratitude journals.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I don't feel like I'm there.  Maybe it's a predisposition.  Maybe I'm trying to figure something out that no one figures out. 

Joy List

What brings you joy?  Makes you happy?  Be specific.  Think back over a few weeks or months and make a list.  Sometimes I feel like I don't know what makes me happy.  I am going through this exercise.  

Next....Plan to do more of what makes you happy.

Another holiday season has just passed.  I've been traveling and with family.  Thinking about my list.  Not only what made me happy but gratitude as well.

1. I made Christmas dinner for sixteen people.  Everyone was really happy with the dinner.  It brought everyone together.  I always try to surprise the group with new side dishes and desserts.  This year I added a three cheese mac and cheese, beets with goat cheese, and white chocolate cheesecake with  raspberry sauce.  I have two widowed aunts who came.  They would have no where else to go.  We were surprised that one of them didn't go to her daughter's house, but she told us "I don't want to go where I'm not wanted". 
2. I was traveling to Boston for my next flight.  On the way there I received a text that my flight was cancelled and I was rescheduled to the next afternoon.  I thought about my options.  Backtrack and return to my father's house?  Painful option.  Get a hotel in Boston?  I quickly found a good hotel option in Boston.  I spent a comfortable, restful night and then had a short bus ride to the airport.  I am grateful it was so easy for me to do this.  Easy to get a hotel from my phone.  Cost not a big concern.  
3. I spent ten days in Toronto with my bf.  A simple ten days.  Went to a few restaurants.  Watched movies together.  Met some friends for dinner.  You can imagine what else.  It was a good visit.  Positive feelings for me.
4. In Toronto it was cold and icy on many days.  We took public transportation and walked everywhere.  I saw numerous older people, most in bad physical shape, shuffling along the icy sidewalks and using walkers.  I felt bad for them, and so fortunate this is not me.  I could take Uber if I wanted to.  I live in a place where it never gets very cold and it's rarely icy.  I am grateful.

Thinking back a few months.   

1. Trip to Asia.  Great adventure.  Kept me present.
2. Planning the trip.  This was surprising to me.  Looking at all the various options, getting the best deal and deciding the best plan.  I really enjoyed this.
3. Shopping for small things.  This one also surprised me.  Sometimes I'm looking for something very specific that I want or need.  These are just small, inexpensive items.  I have everything else I need or want.  I can look at so many options online.  I don't want to do this all the time, but I do enjoy it.
4. Just walking around a city.  Block to block to block.....walking, observing, discovering.  NYC is my favorite, hands down. 

I can't do any long travel for the next six months.  So I'm planning some short trips.  Mexico, NYC and back to Toronto.  Toronto and NYC are great in warmer weather -- just my preference.  NYC is always going to be a short trip because of cost and five days is the max I can handle. 

 

The Imitation Game

 

Last night we watched this movie that my bf picked out.  Generally he chooses movies with some kind of gay angle.  I recommend it.  It held my interest and I enjoyed it.  This movie is from 2014, but I hadn't seen it.  Sad ending, but this is the telling of a true story.

Too Cold

 

I'll never move back to cold weather.  I just got stuck in Boston over night when my flight was cancelled.  Now I am in Toronto.  Walking around outside the cold is biting.  My hands freezing.  My blood has thinned and I'm struggling with the cold.  It's -12 C in both cities.  These great cities are better in the summer. 

I'll be glad to return to warmer weather next week.