What I'm Watching

 

I had mixed emotions with this film.  Don't get me wrong, it's a good film.  I was feeling uneasy about Colin, until the end.  I guess this is what some people like.  

It's worth watching and I'll be interested in reactions. 

Back from Mexico

 

Back from ten days in Yucatan Mexico.  Good to have an adventure and change of scenery.  I'm really impressed with Merida.  I felt very safe there and it didn't seem "over-touristed".  We rented a car and drove to some smaller towns in Yucatan.  Otherwise traveled by train and bus.

Now I have eight weeks until my next trip.  A priority will be to amp up my fitness regimen.  I'm stuck on weight (despite IF, 1500 calories, cardio and lifting) and trying to push past that. 

Now I need to figure out what I will do later in the year.  Maybe it won't be safe for Americans to travel outside the US by that time.  An angry world won't want us.  The next month will be telling. 

Bored

 

I'm so happy to get out of town for ten days.  I'm bored staying at home.  A change of scenery will be refreshing.  I'm busy making notes of sights and restaurants I want to see.

I need to make some changes when I get back.  

Three month trips are looking more and more appealing.  I don't think I could stand to hang out here for Jan, Feb, March next year.  This winter was too cold for me.  That will be the first long trip I think. 

I haven't seen my bf since the beginning of January.  This long distance relationship is becoming difficult for me.  After these ten days together, I'll see him again in May, and then he will come to my place for a few weeks.  I miss him in my bed.  

 

Grindr Blocked

Malaysia doesn't often appear in news headlines here in the U.S., so I was surprised to see this headline: 

Grindr, Blued Blocked in Malaysia as Anti-LGBTQ+ Push Widens

The Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission, the country’s Internet regulator, is “examining several legislative measures to curb these applications.”   The article goes on to discuss the increasingly conservative shift in this predominantly Muslim country.  Other apps that promote "deviant" relationships will also be blocked.  Malaysia has some of Southeast Asia’s strictest laws governing LGBTQ+ people. Same-sex intercourse is outlawed under both a colonial-era sodomy statute and Islamic sharia law applicable to Muslims, with penalties ranging from fines and caning to imprisonment. 

 

This country is adopting a more extreme stance on LGTBQ, but I think we are seeing some of this in many other parts of the world.

 

I remember opening Grindr while I was in Malaysia and a warning popped up:  CAUTION:  You are in a conservative Muslim country.  It is best not to post your face picture and use caution when meeting people. 

 

I met two guys while I was in KL.   Both Malay.  My impression was that Malaysia operated on sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  One of the guys was devout Muslim and was secretive about his sexuality, but that didn't stop him from meeting guys.   The other guy had told his mum he was gay, probably after a thousand questions about when he would marry.  I was surprised that many local guys posted face pics on Grindr.  There was a gay club not far from my hotel in Bukit Bintang.  Somewhat confusing?  An uneasy recognition of gay people?

 

All this will just force gay people underground.  Things go back to secret apps and underground clubs that were in existence years ago. 

 

Why can't everyone be accepted? 

Open Means Over?

I've heard over and over again that gay relationships have a short half life.  The spark goes out and the excitement with sex dies out.  One or both of the parties often seeks satisfaction somewhere else, and the relationship opens.  Does this mean the relationship is over?  I'm not sure this is always the case.  

I remember reading another blogger who was in what seemed to be a stable relationship with his husband.  He mentioned that periodically he spent time with another guy "who gives me something I can't get from my husband".  What does that mean?   Not sure.  He wasn't in a sexless marriage though. 

Is there a difference in outcomes if the relationship is "dead bedroom"? 

Dead Bedrooms

I hadn't heard this term before.  Maybe it's Asian slang.  This came up in the sex discussions that my bf doesn't want to hear.  It means a couple who are still together, but no longer have sex.  There was a discussion of certain couples in the larger group who are in this situation.  What have they done?  Go to an open relationship?  Perhaps rely on their right hand?  Some of these couples are only in their late twenties -- how could this happen?  I've heard that most gay couples eventually get bored with each other and either break up or go to an open relationship.  The consensus seems to be at around three years.

Assuming the violence dies down, I'll be in Yucatan Mexico with my bf next week and will hear a lot more. 

Oversharing

My bf is on the fringes of a large group of Asian gay guys.  When he's feeling less antisocial, he sometimes socializes with smaller groups of them.  The topic of conversation is often sex.  The larger group is a mix of couples and single guys.  He will tell me about the conversations sometimes, and usually say that he doesn't want to hear about their sex lives.  Haha, but I can tell he does want to hear about it.  I've told him that I think he actually does like hearing about what they do.  It seems interesting.  The group is active, and at least one of them is probably a sex addict.  Topics all over the place, from hookups to which couples are having challenges, open or even sexless.

While we were talking a few days ago he mentioned that he had told them something about our sex life.  I recoiled a bit and he could tell.  I'm a private person and not sure how I feel about this.  Not really a big deal I think.  Maybe it's good to show them some of our humanity?  They know who I am.  I've socialized with the larger group one time, although I find it awkward because they are mostly speaking Chinese.  I've socialized with smaller groups a few times.  I'll see my bf in ten days and we can discuss.    

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On another note, beautiful weather today.   I feel like winter is over.  At 7am it was 59 F (15 C).  I went running three miles.  It felt really good.  Yesterday I went out for a walk around 6:30am.  It was still dark, but so many people out running and walking.  Morning people.  I'm going to go out more in the early morning.