Wisdom #1

 Don't regret your past, learn from it.

Money Personalties

 

 

I'm reading about money personalities.  Animals are used to describe the types.   There are four:  dolphin (spender), Squirrel (saver), Ostrich (avoider), sloth (indifferent), and German Shepherd (attuned).

This is me for sure:

The Squirrel (Saver): Squirrels love to save.  They will avoid debt at all cost.  They know exactly how much money they need for everything and if they can’t save it first they won’t buy it later.  Squirrels are deliberate, there is no such thing as impulse buying and often they will research something to the point of talking themselves out of it.  The great thing about squirrels is they never worry about the future like retirement.  The downside is that they aren’t enjoying life now because they are too busy saving for the future.  This can lead to being obsessed with saving and budgeting. 

The last sentences are key here.   I need to force myself to spend and enjoy my life more.  I have a good job now, and it has reasonably good work-life balance.   I'm visiting my bf for a week in July.   We are planning other trips before year end, probably to Mexico.

I don't need to work anymore, but I need to have something meaningful to do.  Meaningful but I need to prevent my life from being consumed with work.  I am years away from social security income and medicare.   Having an income gives me a sense of security.

I don't need any  more "things."   I might trade out some of my "things", but I don't need to add any.  I need good experiences -- exactly what is a "good experience"?    This will help me find happiness.

I'm curious --  what is a good experience for you?

Mentally Not Present

 Lately I'm finding myself thinking about other things....and doing stupid things.   I forgot my laptop, only to arrive at work and realize I didn't have it.   I had to drive all the way back home to get it.

Early dementia?    I don't think so.   Mentally not present?  Yes, that's what I think it is.

I'm still bothered by a few things that have happened.   Thinking about those things too much.   Is that rumination?   I need to stop this and move on.  As much as I wish I could change the past, I can't.

In an Instant

It's amazing, shocking, scary how fast your life can change.

A former co-worker messaged me yesterday.  He needed to meet me urgently.  I'll explain when we meet.  He said let's go to a place where we can speak very privately.

He hesitated for a few minutes and then blurted it out.  "I've just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

"You're a financial expert and I trust you.  I need your advice."

We walked for two hours discussing medical insurance, life insurance, disability insurance, family medical leave act.   I know these topics well. 

I can't imagine dealing with news like this.  He is 58 years old.  Married with teenage kids.  It's one of the most deadly forms of cancer.  What to do now?

Happiness Catalysts

 

Did you ever wonder why sometimes you're happy and sometimes you're not?  And you can't explain why?

I'm searching for the catalysts of happiness.  These would be unique for each individual.  What are mine?  I need to think very hard about this.  I have a four day trip coming up.   That should make me happy and put my mind in a different place.  I'm far less obsessed with work now.   I don't have a problem taking vacation.  I won't take my work laptop with me.  I want to be fully "present" during this trip and enjoy it.

What are your happiness catalysts?  

Gratitude

 

If you read about the science of happiness and mood improvement, you will almost always find a suggestion to practice daily gratitude.   Think about what are we thankful for.   When you are feeling depressed or otherwise badly, replace thoughts about what we don't have or other problems with gratitude thoughts. 

Daily gratitude -- what are we thankful for every day?

I'm finding that some of the things I'm thankful for are remarkably simple.  A good cup of coffee in the morning.  Thirty minutes in the morning to enjoy my coffee and watch the news.  A call or dinner with a friend.   An evening walk in beautiful weather.  Going to bed at the end of a cold winter day on flannel sheets.   My health.

Some things that appear to be bad at the outset, are really good things.  I lost my job last year.  I felt badly at the time, but the reality is that I was ejected from a toxic place with some really bad people.   Four months later I had a new job in a positive place.  I'm grateful for that.

I have the ability and the means to add some fun experiences to my life.  It starts this month with my trip to NYC.  Many people can't do this.  

I'm grateful.

Hypothetical Six Months

You have six months to live.

Imagine getting this news.   What would be your reaction?  Probably you'd be thinking about what you want to do in your remaining time.  Second, you might be thinking about regrets.   What do you wish you'd done?  This is a thought provoking exercise.

It would be great to not have many regrets.  To have done almost everything you wanted to do.  How do you get to that state?  Start by you having control of your life....not your job or anyone else.  Thinking hard about what you want to do....what experiences?   What places?   Then making those things happen.

If you are able to control your life and do the things on your"bucket list", then you should have gratitude.  Most people in the US can't do that.   They will work beyond their good years or subsist on $1200 a month in social security.   I have gratitude that I am able to control my life.

For most people, and that includes me, the full retirement age of 67 and medicare at 65, is a major driver in our decisions.  You have years of "life" and years of "quality life."   There's a big difference.