Sexual Harassment

 

 

My bf was just at a small dinner party with members of this gay group he's on the fringes of.  One of the guys was telling them how he was recently a victim of sexual harassment.  He just returned from China on a very long flight.  He decided to get a massage from someone a friend recommended.  He was so tired he fell asleep during the massage.  He awoke to find that his shorts were taken off, the masseur had jacked him off and was now wiping him off.  He said he was asleep and didn't consent to this.  He made a report to the police.  Two other guys at the dinner know this masseur.  One had hooked up with him and another had dated him for a few weeks.  

I find it a bit unbelievable that this could happen without the guy waking up.  Since he's a gay masseur who specializes in gay clients, especially Asian guys, maybe this is just part of his normal services.  I think it's kind of overreaction to go to the police with this.  My bf insists it's sexual harassment. 

Apparently the masseur had to do some community service.  However I was telling my bf that in the US he probably would have done jail time and been placed on the sexual predator list. 

 

Sycophants

 

 

Can we add to this "abandon all personal values and honor in order to suck up to power"? 

Watching clips of the confirmation hearings of Todd Blanche and Jay Clayton yesterday was sickening.  Evasive and in some cases provably dishonest.  Refusing to answer who won the 2020 Presidential election.

Todd Blanche was at one time an Assistant US Attorney in NY.  Jay Clayton was a Sullivan and Cromwell partner.  What happened to these people?

I guess ask JD Vance. 

Correction -- Empire State Trail

 

Correction - in my last post I mentioned walking the Empire State Trail as a bucket list item.  The Empire State Trail is 750 miles from the southern tip of Manhattan north to the Canadian border, and west to Buffalo.  This is not the trail I want to walk.

I want to walk the Manhattan Waterfront Greenway.  The trail map is depicted above and is 32 miles.  It goes completely around the island.  

The part of the trail that goes up the west side of Manhattan is called the Hudson River Greenway, and it is also part of the Empire State Trail.  When I walked on the west side waterfront in May I saw signs for the Empire State Trail, and that's what caused my error.

The other two parts of the Manhattan Waterfront Greenway are the East River Greenway and the Harlem River Greenway.

Now we have that straight.  Thanks Michael for your comment that led me to take another look.  32 miles is enough for me!!

As an FYI, lots of eye candy on the Hudson River Greenway. 

Bucket Lists

 

Does everyone have a bucket list of some sort?  These are a list of experiences or achievements one hopes to have in their lifetime.  It's called a "bucket list" because it's comprised of things you want to do before you "kick the bucket".

Bucket lists ties back to my previous post about having things in your life to look forward to.

Bucket lists have to be rationalized.  Having a bucket list of things that are financially a stretch or not achievable will  negatively impact your happiness.  Crossing things off the list that you don't really need to do is a good exercise to reduce your "wants".  Doing something on your bucket list is a good way to temporarily increase your happiness.  Adapting your bucket list to your reality is a good way to permanently increase your happiness. 

I have a long trip to Asia in January on my bucket list.  I also have an annual trip to NYC, and this year it will likely be two.  I want to do a trans-Atlantic cruise, like Barcelona to Miami, and I'm thinking about that for the fall.   Fly Singapore Airlines JFK to SIN, in business class.  Try at least three new restaurants in Toronto, since I spend a fair amount of time there.  Walk the entire Empire State trail (but not in one day!).  Everything on the bucket list needn't be expensive.  Some small ticket items can bring just as much happiness as the big ticket ones.

At some point in my life I will have to start crossing off bucket list items because I can't do them, hopefully that happens later than sooner. 

As I've mentioned before, the last year has flown by and I feel like I've accomplished very little.  Sure I had a number of trips, but things I told myself I would do last year didn't get done.  I need to be more intentional about how I spend my time. 

I don't want to wake up one day and realize so much time has gone by, and there are all these things I wanted to do, and didn't do them.

Looking Forward

 

It's so important to have things in your life to look forward to.  It could be a visit, or even a phone call, with friends.  A holiday with family.  A trip.  Many things.  

Something are just handed to you.   The holiday gathering.  The visit from friends.   Some things you have to make happen, such as the trip.

I stopped working a year ago.  It feels like a year has blown by and I've done very little.  I've had some trips.  My bf visited for a while.  I have these long stretches, sometimes eight weeks, where I am just sitting at home without much to do.  Sure, I'm walking, exercising, reading books.  However, I'm feeling somewhat unfulfilled by that.  I didn't complete some goals I had.

What are you looking forward to? 

Thinking about gratitude.  This week I had a chest cold.  A productive cough and just not feeling up to par.  I was able to take things easier this week.  Contrast my situation to my Burmese friend who owns something like a food stall.  We were just talking about how he has no safety net if he's sick.  If he's sick he still has to work.  I imagine some friends would jump in if he was so sick that he absolutely could not work, but that would take heroic efforts.  So I am grateful for my situation. 

Eight Regrets

 

 

I saw this and was thinking about my own life.  I've checked off some of the regrets I have.  Some, like working too much, I can't do anything about that now.  I'm past working.  Others, like calling family too little, I feel like I've fixed in the last five years.  

Waiting for perfect timing - I'm cognizant of that now and doing better.

Staying in toxic places - I'm not in a toxic place now, but wish I had left toxic places sooner in the past. 

I'm also a lot more cognizant of gratitude over the last few years.  I might not be happy with everything in my life, but I am relatively better off than most people and have no right to complain. 

Just returned from a week in New England.  Four weeks at home, and then I'm off to Toronto for a few weeks.  Speaking of "no perfect timing," I'm thinking about a trip somewhere in October.  Undecided.

 

 

Time

 The "right" time doesn't exist. 

There is just time and what you choose to do with it.