I have been watching this show on Hulu called "Love, Victor". It's about the coming out process for a guy in high school. For the first season Victor kept this secret to himself. He struggled with his feelings and explored how others went through the process. In the second season Victor has come out and has a bf. Episode two is kind of a climactic event where he stands on a chair in the school hallway to come out to everyone and announce that he is with Benji.
His parents, especially his mom, are not comfortable with his sexuality. When he brought Benji home for dinner she squirmed in discomfort and could barely look at them.
It's good there's a show like this to tell the story of a young gay man just coming to grips with his sexuality. The reactions of his friends and family are an important part of the story.
The process is difficult for Victor, but it's certainly not horrible. He is a good looking, Latino guy. He's popular and athletic. That makes a difference in how things play out. A big difference. My point is, while this show is the reality for some people, it's not reality for others. For other, less popular people, the coming out process could go quite differently.
Another end of the spectrum might be the Tyler Clementi case. He was the college freshman in NJ who was outed by his roommates, and subsequently jumped off the George Washington Bridge. The reality is that he was a nerdy, violin player....certainly not captain of the football team or voted most popular senior.
I also need to point out that things are very different now than twenty or thirty years ago. I remember the look of horror on my parents' faces when the topic of a gay person was brought up. The acceptance is better than it was. Better, but far from perfect. If it was completely accepted then we wouldn't have over half the homeless street kids being LGBT refugees.
Why am I writing about this? The contrast to my own life? How I wish things could have been? How different things are now?
Love Victor is a follow up to the movie Love Simon. Coming out is a huge decision to make and it is life altering for sure. You are right that things are better now than they used to be 20 years ago. That's hard for a lot of young people to fathom. Since things have changed kids attitudes in general have changed and they are more accepting. That doesn't mean kids aren't still bullied or made fun of. There is a huge difference between willingly coming out of the closet and being outed. Suicide rates regarding coming to terms with sexuality is still a thing, which is sad to say. While I know there is and will be more progress on this issue in society I do think that it will be something that people struggle with for many years to come. Only the person who is contemplating coming out knows their circumstances and if it's safe or not to move forward. One thing is for certain once you say those words I'm Gay it's not something you can take back. Coming out also isn't a one time process, it's something that happens many times during the course of your lifetime. It's okay to be different, It's okay to be gay. It does get better as you age, even though you think it never will one day it just happens.
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