Helix

One of my fellow bloggers posted about his favorite porn stars....Ashton Summers

He also mentioned that he liked Helix.  For those of you who don't know (probably every gay guy knows this), Helix niche in gay porn is younger looking guys, like 18, 19, 20.  The scenes are frequently set in what looks like a guys bedroom in his parents house, or maybe a dorm room.

Why do I feel a little depressed when I watch Helix?  I can't help thinking what would it be like to fully realize and accept your sexuality at age 16, 17, 18, 19.  Lot's of guys at this age have girlfriends, and there's plenty of people who are dating and sexually active at this age.  It's part of a coming of age for a lot of people.

Not for me.  I didn't really connect with anyone and become sexually active until 23, 24.....very late.  Seven or eight years with nothing.  That's a very long time, and a lonely time.

When I was that age being gay was one of the worst things you could be.  My parents certainly wouldn't have accepted it, and I might have been one of those kids kicked to the curb.  Left homeless.   I didn't accept or maybe even realize that I was gay.  Maybe I had an interest but that doesn't mean I was gay.

Today things are different.  We even have an openly gay man with a same sex husband who is a front runner in the presidential race.  Being gay is far more accepted.  I think it's much less likely that a young LGBT person will be tossed into the street.  Although sadly it does still happen.  I know of many situations where young gay men only sixteen years old are openly gay, have a boyfriend, and this is accepted by their families.  If a gay man has a boyfriend, then there's sex.  There just is.

So when I see these scenes on Helix it makes me a little sad.  I didn't get to have that, but then I realize it's just the way my life had to be.  Better that things played out this way so that I've had a pretty comfortable life, than to have been homeless and uneducated.  Struggling through life.