Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Face Pics

What's the make-it-or-break-it in online gay dating?  It's the face pic.  I don't care how nice of a guy you are, the decision usually comes down to that five second look at your face pic.  A bad face pic can get you the red x treatment in an eye blink.  So you better make it good.

It's funny how the same people can have good and bad face pics.  My ex-bf Seth is a handsome guy and I've always thought his pics were great.  But he just posted a new pic and I thought it wasn't complimentary at all.  It can be hard to get the right shot, especially if you're not naturally the most photogenic.  One friend has a high end camera and takes thousands of pics of himself (in hundreds of pairs of sexy underwear).  The pics look great, like they're professionally done, and I imagine they're great advertising.

Guy on the upper right looks like he's using his college graduation pic.  Guy on the upper left looks professionally done.  Guy in the middle is just naturally photogenic.

There's several approaches to pics:

  • Completely out there with the face pic.
  • A "discreet" face pic.  Basically there's a face pic but you wouldn't be able to recognize the person.  Pics from a distance or with sunglasses fall in this category.  I have several friends who take this approach.
  • The body pic.  No face visible.  The hot body is advertising for further inquiry.  If you chat a bit ans there's interest, then he'll send or unlock a face pic.  If you have a body like the ones below there will be plenty of interest.
  • No pic.  Hang it up.  No one will talk to you.  Who would put up a blank billboard?
Some guys have a great smile and are photogenic so a great face pic is easy.

Another strategy is to put a little more personality into the pic.  Add some background, do some photoshop work.  Make it more than just the face pic in order to attract interest.  Maybe show a great body as well as your face.

One thing is true about all of these pics -- they're not just selfies in the bathroom mirror.  These guys put some effort into making these pics good.   I need to put more effort into this.  When I chat with a guy and there's mutual interest, I need to be ready with the right pics to make the best possible impression.

I said make the "best possible" impression.  There's only so much you can do, and there's no magic bullet.  Not everyone is one of the beautiful people.    You are who you are.  You do the best you can, and if the guy doesn't like your pic, then just move on.


  1. I have a photographer friend who says that most people look better when photographed from the left side. Seems to be true for me.

  2. As you've said, a good face pic is pretty much the only thing that matters, in any kind of dating profile.

    Putting extra effort into taking a good pic (1000s of pics in underwear, for example) is a two-edged sword. Yes, you'll get more responses but what happens when they meet you? Is it better to be rejected online or to go to the trouble of meeting someone so they can reject you in person?

    The "good" pictures that annoy me the most are the ones that are many years old. Yet I see guys do that all the time.

    1. Agree. You want to make a good impression, but not make yourself look unrealistically too good. Showing up only to disappoint is not a good thing.