Sunday, October 6, 2013
I've never had sex in a men's room, or in park, or in an adult bookstore, or the backroom of a gay club. I've never been to a bathhouse. Oh my Rob, what a pathetic, boring life you lead.....I'm sure some will say. But I'm proud of this. I've done some things I regret, but nothing like this.
I call this "depraved sex". Sorry to seem judgmental if this is your thing. I just don't know how I would feel good about this kind of sex after the fact. If I see no possibility of feeling good about it, then I shouldn't do it. A few weeks ago there was an article in the NYT about a gay couple in NYC who had been together for fifty years. They talked about how gay sex had changed over the years. "A day without sex was a failed day," one of them said. They talked about men's rooms in subway stations all over the city. This is disgusting to me. Was this ever the norm? If gay sex has changed since the 1960's, and not even sure if that is true, it seems to me to be for the better. Again, this is my preference. If this kind of sex is your thing, I can respect that. I don't understand why, but we're grownups who make our own choices.
During my trip to Toronto I was at the gay village several times. The entrance to Steamworks is in an alley right in the center of the village. I walked by these steel doors and saw a few guys go in. I thought about going in, just out of curiosity to see it one time, but decided not to. It's not what I'm looking for. A friend asked me if I would go to a bathhouse with him because he was curious to see it. I agreed, with the condition that the only sex we would engage in would be between us. We never went.
This blog is about finding happiness. The lesson here? Focus on what will make you happy. If it's not going to make you happy then don't do it. If you're doing it and it's not improving your life, then stop.