Friends has become a popular topic. It's also a complicated topic. I see so many articles in NYT and various magazines. Some bloggers have posted about it. Why do people seem to have less friends now? Why is it so hard for men to make friends, especially in middle age and beyond?
When we say "someone has no friends," that is a very negative comment. The term "loner" has a hugely negative connotation. "Loner" is almost synonymous with "loser".
The reality is that people have different social needs. Some people need to be surrounded with friends and can't stand to be alone. Other people have low social needs. They prefer to be alone. A gathering of one or two friends is all they need/want. They can't stand being around large groups of people. Over Christmas someone was telling me they are excited to be going on a Caribbean cruise. For me this would be torture to be around all these people.
Some people are naturally popular....people want to be their friend. It's easy for them to connect. Why are some people popular? And some people not? Again, complicated mix of environment and maybe genetics.
How much effort do you put into making new friends? Do you put yourself in situations where you will meet new people? Or do you make little effort? Sometimes I reach out to someone I might want to be friends with, and there's little or no reciprocity. I get the message and back away.
I do believe that everyone needs at least a few friends.
There is no one right answer here. But -- your number of friends is only a problem if you think it's a problem.
I have read from a book and also watch a clip from youtube about the effect of human isolation. Needless to say, it sounds depressing. Also the bottomless scrolling in social media has way more damaging effect in our brain and communication ability.
ReplyDeleteBack in the days, when socmed wasn't that popular, as an introvert myself, I was still able to strike a conversation with people and make acquaintances.
Besides, I often wonder if the current social economy is indirectly impacting our way of socializing.
Social media has definitely changed everything.....for the worse in terms of socialization. In some ways it might have helped because now it connects people that would otherwise never have connected. Like this blog platform....or Grindr.
DeleteFriends are a good thing to have. I wish I had more than I do today. Perhaps that will be something that changes for me next year.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather have a small group of friends than a large group of acquaintances. Wising you the best in 2026.
ReplyDeleteThanks you too! I agree smaller group is better.
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