Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Elusive Age Appropriate Relationship

I still can't get the age appropriate relationship topic out of my head.

There's another blogger who has an interesting, albeit blunt, way with words.  In one post he described a naked older man as looking like a "boiled chicken."

I was discussing with another blogger my lack of motivation to approach guys around my own age.  It's very easy to push the button and say hi to some guys......but they are not usually around my age.  I guess subconsciously there's just no motivation to pursue older guys, I said.  The other blogger's response:  "ROB:  It's not subconscious, it's conscious."

My problem is that I know I need to be dating guys my own age -- but, many of these guys don't do anything for me.  My date last week was perfect example.  This guy was well educated and professional.  He was interesting to talk to.  The problem is that he didn't make my dick hard.

I can pass for at least ten years younger than I really am.  This gives me options that some of my same age peers don't have.   I can get younger guys in bed.  Last week I shared my picture with a 23 year old guy.  "You're 42?" he asked.  "You don't believe me? I replied.  His response:  "You look younger than that." 

More than ten years ago I met my friend Javier.  He is Brazilian.  We met at a shopping center and he invited me back to his place.  I distinctly remember walking with him from the car to his apartment.  My heart was pounding.  All I could think was:  "This guy is so hot, I can't believe I'm going to have sex with him"  over and over.  The sex was amazing.  Javier moved back to Brazil, but he still returns to the US two or three times a year, and usually he'll contact me.  I can't believe what's happened.  He has gained so much weight.....he just isn't the same guy.  He works very hard and travels alot.  For me, the attraction is waning.

As you get older you have to work SO hard to stay in shape.  Typically at that age you have a more responsible job with greater work demands.  My typical day right now is 7:30 to 7:15.  So not quite a twelve hour day, but still long.  It's hard to be motivated to hit the gym at 8:30 or 9.  I am really tired.  It's so easy to watch tv and fall asleep.

The guys my age who are actually in shape usually aren't looking for guys their age.  They are looking for younger.  That's my experience anyway.  Just having close platonic friendships can be difficult for middle aged guys.

So what should I do?  I'm not sure, but time is going by fast. 


  1. My partner and I are 10 years apart - 29 and 39. He is older, which made sense in a way. When you're older and established, you aren't looking to move into a guy's house and uproot yourself.

  2. I wish I had a solution to offer, but I don't. I can tell you this, however. I always looked younger than my age, a lot younger, and even today people sometimes do not believe I am 65. But trust me, no one thinks I am 39!

    This will happen to you, too. What then?

    Maybe it is time to think beyond what makes your dick hard. Or, and this is a live option, decide that you will turn that corner when you get there and for now settle for what you can find ... and be a wee bit dissatisfied.

  3. In the same boat now, people are sometimes shocked when I tell them my age, I don't want to be like that but I'm starting to be attracted to younger guys. I am in a situation right now with a great guy being attracted to me but the problem is he was hard on himself, drinking a lot, smoking a lot and it aged his appearance, no matter how hard I try, he just doesn't do it for me. I mean to get into a relationship with him.