Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Two Parallel Stories

About eight months ago I was traveling.  I started messaging on Grindr with an Asian guy.  He looked interesting to me, and we chatted over a two day period.  On my last day in town we agreed to meet.  I was sitting in an out of the way area of the hotel lobby.  He came in, sat down and we started talking.  We both knew what the intentions were.  It was up to me to make the next move.  Do I want to invite him to my room? 

There just wasn't enough chemistry to make me want to do that.  We talked for like 40 minutes.  Finally he said it was getting late and he needed to go.  I sensed some disappointment as he said goodbye.

For the last month I've been messaging with an Asian guy here in Canada.  He's 30 and returning to school for eighteen months.  I never showed him a face pic.  We wanted to meet but our schedules just hadn't aligned.  He lives just a few miles from me.  Tuesday we finally had the opportunity to meet at his place.  He told me we weren't meeting for sex.  For weeks now he's been telling me how much he just wanted to cuddle with someone.    

There's no question I was attracted to him.  He's cute and in good shape.  He had on shorts and a t-shirt.  I sat in a rocking chair while he sat a few feet away on his bed.  We started to talk.  It was wide ranging and he told me his whole story.  At one point I stood up and asked him for a hug.  But then we went back to the same positions.  We kept talking and I lost track of time.  The conversation was deep and personal.  He shared a lot.  Then he reminded me that I had to work early the next morning.  I checked my phone.  Wow, we've been talking for almost two and a half hours.  Time to go.  Not even a hug as I left.  No "call me" or a number.  Two and a half hours....he never invited me into his bed.

Now I get to feel the other side?   I guess so.  Even though this was a long, friendly, engaging conversation, I still feel the implicit rejection.  So there just wasn't the right should be no big deal.  But it bothers me.


  1. No matter how hot the guy is, if there's no chemistry between you both, I guess the outcome of the sex would be awkwardly bad.
    The guy in the picture is cute though. Is he one of the guys you met?

  2. No, that's just a pic off the web.

    You're right, there has to be chemistry. He sent me an email telling me that I am good person. No big deal. This shouldn't bother me.

  3. Hey! If you want to see man from around the world SHIRTLESS, let's visit us on

    Thank You

  4. It will never not bother you based on my experience. You just learn to live with it. Accept it then move on.