Seeing the Future

 

I was recently in a deep discussion with a friend in Thailand.  The conversation went all over the place, but key topics were mortality, making the most of the time we have left, and insight into the future.

He told me about a Buddhist monk who lives on the border of Thailand and Laos.  He will look deeply into your face and tell your future.  Of course I was skeptical, but this monk is supposedly quite accurate.  I'm intrigued.  I would like insight into my future.  I know that our life can change in a instant.  I want to make the most of the time I have left.   "The time I have left"....wow, I can't believe I'm saying this.  I'm not an 80 year old man literally counting his remaining days.

I have no plans to go to Thailand.  But what if I went to see this monk?   I would need to take my Thai friend with me.  I'm sure this monk doesn't speak English.   Thinking about it.

Today was a Good Day

 

I'm not sure why....

The day started like most others.  I happened to have some emails from Europe to answer while the coffee was brewing, and I was able to do that quickly.   Breakfast, watching the morning news and then off to the office.

I felt calm.....like gliding through the water all day.  Productive, not stressed.  I didn't have anything to bring for lunch, so I went out for a Greek salad.  It was better than I expected.

I left at 5:10.   A little early for me, but it's Friday.   I need to do this more often.

I'm trying to figure out what was different today.    How did I end up feeling so calm?  My mind calmer as well.  

The type of day I want to replicate.

Priorities

Happy New Year to All!    Wishing you a healthy and prosperous 2025!

I notice that some friends and fellow bloggers have written down their priorities for the new year.   I should do the same.....and keep it simple.

1.  Exercise.   Why can't I exercise regularly??
2.  Learning.   Or maybe the term these days is micro-learning.  I enjoy taking these on-line classes   and I can actually use what I learn in my work.
3.  Some kind of hobby.   I'm thinking about buying a small drone.  Looks like something that would be fun.   Find one other hobby.   Scrolling through TikTok is NOT a hobby.
   
4. Take my vacations.    

That's it.   Fairly simple.

Another one that I wouldn't put on my priorities list, but is important:   stay present.  Don't think about the past, don't worry about the future.  Be happy in the present.

I just spent a week with my bf.  Mostly stayed in his room.  We watched movies.  Ventured out for some shopping and some restaurants we wanted to try (some found in TikTok reviews).  I feel like my mental health improved.  I stayed present.  Didn't think about lots of random stuff.  It was a good week.

I am very cognizant of my co-worker who passed away last year.   He called me for an urgent meeting on March 9th.   He was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.   What should he do?   We walked around talking for three hours.   He passed away around June 3rd.   Less than three months after our meeting.  He was 58 years old....only 58 years old with lots of plans and dreams.  None of us are immortal.   

Motivation

 

I have two neighbors who get up at 5 or 6 am to go to the gym.  I am so impressed with this level of motivation.   I am not a morning person.....at least not for that.   

Why not?

I ask myself.  Why am I not motivated to exercise more?  My excuse is that I leave for work at 7:30 and come home from work between 6 and 7.   I'm hungry and not so motivated when I get home from work.   Last year I had a few months off from work and did exercise a lot more.   

Soon I will be working mostly from home for four months.  I am so looking forward to this.   When I do go to the office my commute (in distance, but not time) will be cut in half.   Also really happy about that!  This is an opportunity for me.  I'll have more than an hour a day freed up to do something productive....like exercise.

My bf says:  next time I see you, 10 lbs lighter!

Seeking Balance

I've been traveling quite a bit during the last two months.   Mexico and Canada.  

I was in Tulum for a week.  I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful beach.  The ocean like bath water.  I don't want to be in an isolated resort far from town.  So many stores and restaurants walking distance from our hotel on the beach, so that worked for me.

Cancun.  Interesting to visit for the first time but I won't go back.

Two weeks in Mexico City.  What a contrast....staying in wealthy Polanco and working outside the city in the State of Mexico......a scary place.

Toronto.  I've been there like a 100 times, but fun to find new restaurants.   This time Indian and Turkish were the highlights.

Again I find myself in a situation of struggling to maintain work-life balance.   The story of my life.

I need to force myself to take vacation.  Force myself to do something relaxing.  What is fun or enjoyable for me?   I'm not sure I know.

Continuing to work runs the risk of overworking.  Stopping work runs the risk of boredom.  I wish I could be more in the middle.

Friends in Need

My two Burmese friends contacted me separately in the last two weeks.

One had been to an STI testing center and came back positive for chlamydia.  This LGBT non-profit testing center told him now you need to go to a doctor to get treated.  He messaged me not knowing what to do.  He was working about thirty miles away this past week.   I found the address if the local health dept STI clinic and told him to go there.  He was treated and he's ok now.  Now we are having some deep conversation about his sex life and the need to be careful.  He needs to find a real relationship and not just hookups.

Then my other friend contacted me.   He is feeling lethargic and he thinks his lips are too red.   Could it be an STD?  No other symptoms, so could be nothing.  Why don't you go to the doctor if you really are concerned, I asked.  "I'm shy" he answered.  

These are two really nice, hard working guys who have had a hard life.  I know them well and try to help whenever I can.  They are part of an Asian culture that cannot accept gays.  In addition to all their other struggles, they have to deal with being gay.

Every time I talk with these guys I am so grateful for my own life.  Sometimes I feel depressed, and I really have no right to be.   I am very fortunate.   To be born in the US.  To be well educated.   To be financially well off.  I have no right to complain about anything.  I'm glad to have met these guys.

Other guys have told me that "STD's are just the cost of doing business for gay men."   Not for me.   I can't accept getting STD's and if that means less sex, then so be it. 

Gay Pride

I attended the Toronto Gay Pride with my bf. Interesting experience, especially for him.

Part of the event was very positive and focused on acceptance. Other parts left me wondering how this helps the gay cause. Let me explain. There were many LGBTQ organizations that set up at the Gay Pride to explain what they do and offer support. Toronto politicians, like Mayor Olivia Chow, attended to show support. There were several show venues with artists performing.

 On Saturday afternoon we walked through the Church Street gay village. A fair number of people wandering around totally naked. My bf asked how can they get away with this? Why are the police (there were many) not doing anything about this? The normal rules are off at gay pride I guess. There was one guy sitting on the side walk, totally naked, masturbating. Again, my bf asked, how is this allowed? He also added, wow, it was big. 

The next day we attended the parade. There were long breaks in the parade flow because protesters had disrupted the parade upstream. One person was driving a small sit down scooter. This topless person had large breasts, but would zoom up to the sidelines to pull up their skirt to reveal a penis to the crowd.

I was surprised how many kids were in attendance at the parade. Some of this behavior, I'm not sure how it helps the gay cause. Most of the event was positive, focusing on acceptance, and letting everyone know that LGBTQ people can be found in all ethnicities and walks of life.