Steve returned from Korea this week. He spent two weeks with his parents. The issue of marriage is still a hot topic. They have found someone for him.
I know something is wrong. He barely texted me this week. Yesterday he was in town and didn't return my texts until 6:30pm. He agreed to go to dinner, but then a few minutes later said he was too tired. He'd see me next week.
I fear this one year relationship is over. I know why. His parents are forcing the marriage and he won't speak up to stop it. I've told him it will be a disaster.
He's pushing me away.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
"I" Discrimination
The last two months have been super busy and frustrating to me. The usual. So little time to write. However, two topics I have previously written about have intersected and I need to write about it. The two are the "I" (introvert) personality type and my job search.
I have been looking for a new job for about nine months now. Sorting through all the crap on the internet and dealing with headhunters is not fun, but I've turned it into a game just to keep me sane. This week I finally got the gold ring -- an offer for a job I actually want. It's a good job and a good company. I went under the electron microscope to get it.
Three separate interviews. With other managers and HR people. Finally a video interview with their CFO in Europe. Discussions about my DISC rating and how I would interact with different DISC types. They checked my references. They checked my credit. They ran a full background check.
This week I went to the company's location where I would be working to meet with the local president and the rest of the management team. I had tours, dinner, meetings, etc over 24 hours before the offer was made.
Here is the interesting part. On the second day I went to the final meeting in the president's office to get the offer. The conversation shifts back to discussion of personality types.
"After spending a little more time with you over the last day, you come across as kind of "I", he said, "Are you sure you're up for this job?"
I wanted to scream at him. Being "I" does not make you less competent!!!! It means I bring different strengths to the workplace.
The fact is that many managers view "I" people as less aggressive and assertive, and therefore less suited for a management position. This may be true for some I's. It also may be true for some E's.
Every time I go on one of these interviews I learn something. I've learned that I need to work harder at coming across less "I" and perhaps more aggressive in order to win more jobs.
In the end I got the offer. But for a few minutes I thought he was going to tell me he changed his mind.
The fact is that I have a solid track record over the last fifteen years of getting the right answer, completing major projects, being the go-to person when something needs to get done, never having ugly HR situations, and hardly any turnover of my team. I am a thoughtful listener who makes sure everyone is included and gets their fair share of the credit. The only criticism I consistently get is that I'm too direct and push too hard sometimes.
I know I'm more effective than some of the self-centered "E"s I've worked for.
I feel there's a workplace bias against I's and this week it's really bothered me.
I have been looking for a new job for about nine months now. Sorting through all the crap on the internet and dealing with headhunters is not fun, but I've turned it into a game just to keep me sane. This week I finally got the gold ring -- an offer for a job I actually want. It's a good job and a good company. I went under the electron microscope to get it.
Three separate interviews. With other managers and HR people. Finally a video interview with their CFO in Europe. Discussions about my DISC rating and how I would interact with different DISC types. They checked my references. They checked my credit. They ran a full background check.
This week I went to the company's location where I would be working to meet with the local president and the rest of the management team. I had tours, dinner, meetings, etc over 24 hours before the offer was made.
Here is the interesting part. On the second day I went to the final meeting in the president's office to get the offer. The conversation shifts back to discussion of personality types.
"After spending a little more time with you over the last day, you come across as kind of "I", he said, "Are you sure you're up for this job?"
I wanted to scream at him. Being "I" does not make you less competent!!!! It means I bring different strengths to the workplace.
The fact is that many managers view "I" people as less aggressive and assertive, and therefore less suited for a management position. This may be true for some I's. It also may be true for some E's.
Every time I go on one of these interviews I learn something. I've learned that I need to work harder at coming across less "I" and perhaps more aggressive in order to win more jobs.
In the end I got the offer. But for a few minutes I thought he was going to tell me he changed his mind.
The fact is that I have a solid track record over the last fifteen years of getting the right answer, completing major projects, being the go-to person when something needs to get done, never having ugly HR situations, and hardly any turnover of my team. I am a thoughtful listener who makes sure everyone is included and gets their fair share of the credit. The only criticism I consistently get is that I'm too direct and push too hard sometimes.
I know I'm more effective than some of the self-centered "E"s I've worked for.
I feel there's a workplace bias against I's and this week it's really bothered me.
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