Scouting Mission

I am going on a scouting mission soon of places where I might want to move.  This time North Carolina.   I'm only interested in the big city, so I'm going to check out Raleigh and Charlotte.  I understand that the economy in NC is strong, and certainly the weather is better than the mid-west. 

I am concerned about how gay friendly the state is.  I hear bad things about the deep South -- Mississippi and Alabama.  I don't want to move to a place like that.

So it will be a good mini-vacation to check out these cities...the sites, the vibe, the neighborhoods where I might want to live.

Giving Experiment

Last weekend I made batch of banana date muffins.  This was kind of a spontaneous thing as I had just noticed a few over ripe bananas on my counter. 

I took two warm muffins over to my neighbor.  She's an 86 year old widow who has endured several painful events over the last few years.  Mostly because of an alcoholic son.  She thanked me and said the muffins would be great with her coffee.

She called me the next day to say the muffins were great and she really enjoyed them.

It felt good to brighten someone's day.

Maybe I'll try bran muffins this weekend?

Eight Months

Hard to believe I've been dating the same guy for eight months.  It's nice being so close to someone and having a friend I can trust.  But -- this will end in the next few months.  We both know that.  I think each of us has purposefully kept a little distance because of this.

Wise Words

Dysthymia

I've had a few people write to me saying their lives are adrift.  They've lost interest in everything.  No libido.  No hobbies they are interested in.  Trouble getting out of bed in the morning.  Not so interested in meeting people or dating.  They go to work everyday and take care of all the basic stuff so they are functioning -- but life is a grind. 

If this goes on for a while, it could be a low level, persistent depression.  The clinical term is dysthymia.  Aka Persistent Depressive Disorder or Neurotic Depression.   Low energy and drive, and a low capacity for experiencing pleasure in everyday life.

What to do about it?  I guess some would immediately jump to prozac or maybe psychotherapy.  I'm not sure that solves the underlying problem.  If you're a single gay man over forty, life can be hard.  Meeting someone can be hard when most of your "compatriots" are really looking for a hot 25 year old.  I think building up a good network of friends will help a lot.  I wish others felt the same way so they would put as much effort into it.

These decades when you are 40's and 50's and 60's should be some of the best in your life.  You're probably more financially stable.  More established in life for sure.  More comfortable with who you are.  But this is theory.  There's no easy answer.

I hope readers will comment on this.  I was disappointed that there was little reaction to the videos I posted.