tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post5721720090624590238..comments2024-03-19T18:12:03.162-04:00Comments on I Just Wanna Be Happy: Over 40RBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17761591668246881356noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-59957854660704206762013-11-03T23:06:49.179-05:002013-11-03T23:06:49.179-05:00Absolutely! I have never wanted to have sex with ...Absolutely! I have never wanted to have sex with most of the gay men I know. Yes, we talk about sexual attraction to other men, even other men in the room. Yes, it can be done if you can control the urge to prowl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-34290439712472020912013-11-03T19:51:40.314-05:002013-11-03T19:51:40.314-05:00I’m trying to figure out how to be single and fift...I’m trying to figure out how to be single and fifty-six. I don’t want to date a younger guy who can’t relate to the events I have experienced, such as the dark days of the AIDS epidemic in the 80’s. At this point, I’m more interested in friendships as opposed to sexual encounters. I’m sure that will change over time. I still feel fractured and damaged after exiting a twenty year relationship. I don’t how well I will handle rejection. I’m choosing to stand on the sidelines of the dating game but I know at some point I will join the game. In the meantime, I continue to hit gym and have started running. I want to be prepared in case I get invited into another man’s bed. <br />Thanks for mentioning my blog.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-45946394515588616262013-11-03T13:56:30.934-05:002013-11-03T13:56:30.934-05:00Start making "just" friends? Is that po...Start making "just" friends? Is that possible among gay men? RBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17761591668246881356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-21168783874549429262013-11-03T13:54:41.215-05:002013-11-03T13:54:41.215-05:00I think the internet is in many ways a huge positi...I think the internet is in many ways a huge positive for gay men. It makes it so easy for them to connect, and meet guys they wouldn't have otherwise met. Many guys don't go to gay bars, and the internet affords them a means of meeting other guys discreetly.RBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17761591668246881356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-71772631302899893182013-11-03T06:56:16.511-05:002013-11-03T06:56:16.511-05:00I love your analysis of this anon. It fits me to ...I love your analysis of this anon. It fits me to a "T", I've just never seen it put down in words before. <br />"For the guy who comes out later in life, there's the urge to have the wild gay sex life that he never had when he was younger. As a man, he's middle-aged but his social/sexual development might be undeveloped and stuck at age 22..."Explorer Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00633922755283886454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-210961882312750342013-11-03T00:05:45.659-04:002013-11-03T00:05:45.659-04:00Don't startup a dating service. Start a Meetup...Don't startup a dating service. Start a Meetup.com group in your area for middle-aged and up men only. I keep reading blogs by men in your situation and keep thinking that such a group would be great. For one thing, it would be good to be in a group where none of the men are judging each other for being over 40. You might meet at a bar but not a gay bar lest you encounter attitude. I know that I am more attracted to younger men but I know that to form a relationship, it would have to be with a guy my own age. <br /><br />Understand though that you are also participating in the very things that you do not like about gay culture. This might be because you were with the wife and leading a life that did not fit you when you were younger and more stereotypically attractive. Guys who come out of the closet later in life seem to be going through this fear of rejection more than guys who came out earlier. <br /><br />Perhaps that is because the ones who came out earlier formed social relationships over time with other gay men that were not based exclusively on sex or the bar scene. Most of the gay men I know who came out younger tend to be find a broad swath of friends, gay and straight, formed through political action, sports teams, common interests, or even church. <br /><br />For the guy who comes out later in life, there's the urge to have the wild gay sex life that he never had when he was younger. As a man, he's middle-aged but his social/sexual development might be undeveloped and stuck at age 22 as a gay man. <br /><br />As someone only 2 yrs. older than yourself, know that had you come out of the closet when you were in your 20s or early 30s, you would have had to deal with gay life during the plague years when sex was dangerous and your gay friends died, as did some of mine. Life as a gay man then seemed pretty grim.<br /><br />Be glad that you have this moment. Stop worrying about the sex and start making new friends. Some of them can help you navigate the waters ahead and make the journey better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-29171730316741242162013-11-02T23:05:36.890-04:002013-11-02T23:05:36.890-04:00The problem is that most guys our age don't wa...The problem is that most guys our age don't want guys our age. With all the twinklets out there with Daddy issues, it's easy to get a twenty-something's attention. It won't last, but most relationships don't. It's not a good situation. The internet/phone dating apps ruined everything.Facing Traffichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01032135413663831324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804497757570739111.post-37864229796504671012013-11-02T17:54:28.612-04:002013-11-02T17:54:28.612-04:00As someone who has been with my partner / husband ...As someone who has been with my partner / husband for close to 20 years, I'm grateful every day that I have someone in my life who accepts me for me, no matter what. <br /><br />I've gone to many social events where guys under the age of 30 wouldn't even give me the time of day. there was an obvious divide between the "baby" gays and the "mature" gays. The funny thing is that I'm finding that as I get older that I've become more and more attracted to guys 40 and over (like the guy in the photo). <br /><br />It's interesting that as "unified" as the gay community is in fighting for our rights, how many "cliques" there are within the community. Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08227962713037456290noreply@blogger.com